Chapter 20

Sienna walked into work half an hour late and, acknowledging Marlena working at the register, headed straight back to her office. She sat behind her desk and chased down aspirin with water. She had leaned her head back and closed her eyes when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” she called.

Marlena peeked around the door then came in and sat down. “You look terrible, Sienna. Are you feeling okay?”

Sienna shook her head and rested her head on her desk. “Headache,” she mumbled. “Sorry I’m late.”

“I’m not the boss. You are,” Marlena reminded her. “Seriously, Si. What’s wrong? Was Christmas that bad? Did your family do something?”

Sienna thought of her family. Her aunts and uncles had asked her over for dinner on Christmas, but she had called and cancelled, telling them she was sick. When Faith had offered to bring dinner over for her, Sienna had firmly refused the offer. She knew her family was worried about her, but she didn’t want her problems to become public fodder.

“No,” she told Marlena. “My family was great. I just don’t feel well.”

Marlena didn’t believe it. “Uh-uh. There’s something else. Was it Brian? Aha,” she said, triumphantly when she saw Sienna’s wince. “What did he do? Did he hurt you? Can I go beat him up?”

Sienna lifted her head and looked at Marlena. “I don’t know when it happened, Marlena, but I’m glad we’re close enough that you can offer to go hurt someone for me because you think he hurt me. Thank God,” she whispered.

Marlena was seriously concerned, now. “Sienna, what did he do?”

Sienna shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please. I just need a few minutes, and then I’ll be back to work. You’d better go make sure people aren’t walking away with my flowers,” she said to Marlena.

“Okay,” Marlena said, standing up, “but if you need to talk, I’m right here.”

“Thanks,” Sienna answered.

When Marlena had gone, she wished furiously for Liv. But Liv had taken a well-deserved break and was spending the week between Christmas Eve and New Year’s with Howie and his family in Orlando. Sienna didn’t want to call her, either, because she knew that Liv would abandon all plans and rush back home. No, Sienna thought, better to let Liv enjoy her time with Howie. Besides, she didn’t want everyone to know what was going on. It was embarrassing to be the other woman in the triangle. Even more pitiful was the fact that she was in love with a man who didn’t truly care about her.

Shaking off the burgeoning depression, Sienna stood, brushed a hand over her hair, and, firming her shoulders, strode out into the storefront determined not to let her hurt ruin the pleasure her work gave her.

Over the following weeks, Brian tried calling Sienna, dropping by her home and shop, determined to apologize. He wanted to explain that the kiss had meant nothing but an ending. It hadn’t even lasted more than five seconds. Unfortunately, every time he went to her cottage, she wouldn’t answer the door, nor pick up the phone. The few times he had dropped by the shop, Marlena had given him an evil glare and told him that Sienna was busy. She had prevented him from going back to the office, and Brian had eventually given up. Perhaps, he thought, it was best to give her time. Maybe time was all it took. He should know, he thought. Hadn’t he sung a song about it, anyway?

One night, three days after New Year’s, the first he had hoped to celebrate with Sienna, his doorbell chimed. When he answered, Liv pushed him back into the foyer.

“Hey,” Brian complained. “You can’t just walk into my house and shove me around, you know.”

Liv’s brows lifted. “Oh yeah? Well, you can’t blatantly kiss your ex-fiancée where my best friend, the woman you swore you cared about, can see you. How could you do that, Brian?” she wondered, disgusted.

“Livvy, I tried explaining what really happened to her,” Brian began.

“Yeah, well, save it, pal,” Liv cut him off. “Tell it to someone who really cares. Because, right now, all I know is that you hurt Sienna and should suffer a thousand agonies for it. And, to think I thought you might be good for her.”

Brian took a deep breath. “Liv, please, I’m asking you to listen. Just listen and then say and think whatever you want about me. Please,” he asked.

Liv thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Fine, but, believe me, you can’t say anything that will make me see you as anything other than the slime you are,” she told him.

“Okay,” Brian began and told her what had happened between Leighanne and him.

When he finished, Liv watched him for long moments. “Okay,” she said, finally. “Do you have anything strong to drink? I think I need one, now.”

Brian poured her Scotch, and she tipped the glass back. When she set it down, she turned to him. “Okay. Fine, I see your point. I understand the whole closure deal. But Brian, Sienna doesn’t and can’t see it that way. You have to understand that, too. From the day the two of you began dating, Leighanne’s been there. Si’s usually never insecure about anything, but she cares about you more than she’s ever cared about any man she’s been with. When she was already insecure, Leighanne shows up again at your parents’ house, and, despite your reassurances, she couldn’t help but be a little worried about your relationship. I mean, seriously. When the two of you first met, you were still pining after your ex, and, after a year, how much could really change? That’s what Sienna’s thinking is,” Liv reiterated, when she noticed Brian about to protest. “You’ve had the power to hurt her since the two of you became friends because she’s always cared about you, even when she tried not to. And, unfortunately, you did hurt her. Even if you didn’t mean to,” she added.

“So, now what?” Brian wondered. “I need her, Liv. She’s become one of the most important people in my life, and I don’t know how long I can go without her.”

“Give it time,” Liv said, simply. “Really, that’s all she needs. Once she’s recovered from the emotional wounds, she’ll be able to see a little more clearly. Run your case, then, and see what happens. I can’t make any promises, but time’s the best route you’ve got.” She stood. “I have to get going. I promised Howie I’d call tonight.”

“How’s that going?” Brian asked her.

Liv smiled. “It’s going amazingly,” she told him. “He loves me. It’s incredible! I never thought I’d ever find someone I could love and who would love me back. But, he does, and I feel like my life is complete.”

Brian grinned and hugged her. “Then I’m really and truly happy for you. Tell him I said hi and way to go!”

“I will. Just remember,” she told him as she headed out. “Give her time.”

Two weeks later, as Sienna readied for her annual trip to Philadelphia, her phone rang. Hoping it wasn’t Brian, she answered it.

“Sienna!” AJ greeted her, cheerfully.

She smiled. “Hey, how are you? How’s life?”

“Pretty good. I wanted to give you really good news. I’m going on Oprah to talk about my whole alcohol and drug abuse. I never got a chance to publicly address it. The guys did everything for me, then. Now, it’s my chance,” he told her excitedly.

“Are you ready for it?” Sienna asked him.

“Absolutely. I’ve thought about it, and I think that doing this will help me and others out there who are struggling with addiction, too,” AJ answered.

“When are you doing it?”

“We’re taping the day after tomorrow. I tried to get a hold of the guys, but I can’t find them. I just wanted them to know what’s going on, you know,” he explained.

Sienna nodded. “I know. It would be good to have them support you on this.”

“Yeah, but they’ve got lives of their own, too. Kevin’s getting ready for the baby, Nick’s in London for something or other, and Howie’s got real estate and Liv. Which I hear is going really well,” AJ remarked.

Sienna smiled. Of all the terrible things that had happened in the past few weeks, the one good thing was hearing that Liv and Howie loved each other. It was wonderful to hear her best friend was in love. If it made her ache with envy, she quashed it. “Yeah, it’s going really well. They’re in love.”

“Well if that doesn’t beat out everything else! There’s no one I know that deserves it more than them. Besides you and Rok, of course,” AJ added.

Sienna sighed. “No, not Brian and me. Liv and Howie really do deserve it, though.”

“What’s wrong, Sienna? What happened?” AJ’s concern was clear.

“Nothing at all. Everything’s as it should be, AJ,” she reassured him cheerily. “You worry about Oprah. Just know that I’m supporting you the whole way, okay?”

“Thanks, Si. And you should know that if something’s wrong, you can always tell me,” AJ reminded her.

“Thanks, AJ.”

When they hung up, Sienna dialed Brian’s number, hoping that he wouldn’t be at home. When his answering machine came on, she sighed, relieved, and left a message.

Later that day, Brian heard her message and knew that, despite the hurt she felt, she still supported his quest to keep the Boys together. He called Howie, Nick, and Kevin, letting them know what was going on, and they agreed to go on the show to surprise AJ. It was the kind of thing that would really touch him, they knew.

Kevin called Oprah’s office and got the go ahead easily, especially because Oprah loved any excuse to bring emotions out on her stage. When they walked onto the stage and watched AJ’s eyes tear up, all four men knew that they had been right to come and felt the tears fill their eyes, too. Kevin, the one who had been the most instrumental in staging an intervention, hugged AJ as the tears flowed down his cheeks. They sat with Oprah and rehashed the problems and, in doing so, the Backstreet Boys felt themselves come together again. Not just in friendship, but in every other way, they knew that they couldn’t put off being a band any longer.

That night, they gathered in AJ’s hotel room and discussed their options for the future.

“I want the Backstreet Boys back,” Brian said, simply. “I don’t know how much longer I can handle us not singing, not performing, not being us.”

Howie nodded. “I love my work, guys, but it’s not the same as being together with everyone. I need that rush we got onstage when our fans were cheering.”

“Let’s bring us back,” AJ suggested. “Don’t we all hunger for it?” he looked around at Nick and Kevin.

Nick nodded. “It’s not the same, doing things without you guys. I realized the reason Now or Never tanked was because I can’t perform on stage without you guys. It’s just not the same,” he repeated.

They looked at Kevin. Kevin sighed. “Kristin’s going to give birth in less than a month, and I just don’t want to miss out on our baby’s life. I want to sing again, too, don’t get me wrong. I love you guys, but I need my wife and child, too.”

Brian nodded. “Fair enough. Except we can’t be a band without Big Brother riding herd on us. We may be grown men, but we still need you looking out for us, Kevin.”

“He’s going to be looking out for his baby, now,” Howie reminded them. “Kevin’s not going to be just ours anymore. As much as I don’t want to admit it, his first priority is his family. We come second. Right?” he asked Kevin.

Kevin ran a hand through his hair, wearily. “My first priority is my family, but that includes you, too. The thing is, if we decide to record another album and do another tour, it’ll take at least a year to put it all together, right? Maybe, maybe I can spend that year with Kris and our baby, and, later, they could come on tour with us. I think Kris’ll go for that.”

Nick grinned. “I think it’ll be cool to have a kid around while we’re touring. What do you think?” he asked the others.

“I think it sounds great. We’re back in business, boys. Excuse me, men,” AJ corrected himself and watched the smiles spread on his fellow bandmates’ faces.

“There’s just one other thing,” Brian said. “I’ve been talking to Provident Records about doing a gospel album. It’s something I’ve really wanted to do, and, if you think it’ll interfere with our stuff, I won’t do it,” he added.

Nick shook his head. “No way, man. We are not going that route again. If this is something you really want to do, then do it. We’ll support you one hundred percent. Right guys?” When the others nodded, Nick smiled. “See? If you need time to record that album, take it. We’ll work something out, and I’ll be the first to buy it,” he promised.

“Thanks guys. Really,” Brian thanked them, sincerely.

Howie pretended to dust his hands. “Well, now that that’s all been cleared, I think we have to think about who we want managing us. We fired The Firm, remember?”

They all remembered and, after much discussion, agreed that Johnny Wright had been the best manager they’d had in twelve years. Kevin agreed to call Johnny and speak to him on their behalf. When Nick complained about being hungry, they decided on room service because none of them wanted to separate. This was the first time all five were together in the same room since the day they had argued about firing The Firm, and all of them cherished the togetherness they felt.

Over dinner, AJ asked Howie how Liv was and was rewarded with Howie’s huge grin.

“I’m going to ask her to marry me,” Howie told them, excitedly.

Nick’s brows lifted. “Whoa, D, didn’t you just start dating six months ago? Aren’t you moving a little fast?”

Howie shook his head. “When it’s right, it’s right. When I look at her, I know she’s the one I’ll love for the rest of my life.”

“And she feels the same way?” Kevin asked him.

“Livvy’s a bundle of joy when she talks about Howie. He’s like the freaking sun, moon, and stars for her,” Brian told them, smiling. “It’s really great. I’m happy for you, D. If you ask her to marry you, I think she’ll say yes before you even finish asking her.”

“I hope so,” Howie said. “By the way, how’s Sienna, Brian?”

At Brian’s pained expression, AJ shook his head. “I knew it, I knew there was trouble in paradise. What happened, Rok?”

“It was my fault,” Brian explained what had happened over Christmas. “And, now, she won’t even look at me, speak to me, or anything! I need her back, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I think you need to learn a lesson from this,” Kevin told him. “Keep your hands off of Leigh. She’s like poison to your relationship with Sienna. If Liv told you Sienna’s insecure about the way you feel about her, then try not to give her a reason to be insecure.”

“I know, but I don’t think I’ll ever get her back after this. She won’t even let me explain,” Brian moaned. “I just don’t know why she’d be insecure about how I feel about her, though.”

“Don’t you?” Howie wondered. “Liv said that the issue Sienna’s helped you with the most was the way you felt about Leighanne. If that was the beginning of your relationship, I’m not surprised that she feels uncertain about everything. Besides, Sienna apparently thinks that, because she’s just a florist, she doesn’t hold any special charm for you. That you’re just amusing yourself and keeping your mind off of Leighanne.”

“What?! Oh, God. Did I really give her that idea? But she would’ve kicked me out before this if she thought that. Sienna’s no spineless woman,” Brian said.

“I don’t know, Bri, but maybe Liv’s right. Just give her time, then try to talk to her again,” AJ suggested. “So, Kevin, how is the wonderfully pregnant Kristin?” he turned to Kevin, changing the subject.

Kevin broke into smiles then, and they spent the rest of the night hearing about the ultrasounds, feeling the baby kick, and every test they had taken to make sure their baby would be healthy.

Two days later, Brian returned to Lexington and went to search for Sienna. When he didn’t find her at home or in the shop, he began to worry. However, he ran into Faith at the grocery store and was told that Sienna was in Philadelphia, taking care of her parents’ restaurant, which was something she did every January for two weeks. Brian wondered why Sienna hadn’t told him about the restaurant before, but he hopped on the first flight to Philadelphia.

***

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