Chapter 4

As it turned out, he had ended up driving into the shopping district of South Lexington and decided that, seeing as it was about 9 and no one was out, he would walk the streets of his youth. God, what a cliché, Brian thought. Good thing no one’s here to hear me talking to myself in my head.

He had wandered down one street when he realized he was passing Sienna’s Flowers and, glancing in, he saw Sienna creating another fantastic arrangement of flowers. He looked down at the sign on the door that said CLOSED and, shrugging, knocked on the window. When she looked up, he saw the light of recognition and the quick shock on her face before she rounded the counter and walked towards the door. She knows who I am. She didn’t before. I wonder how she found out, Brian thought, a little disappointed that one of the few people he had ever met who hadn’t recognized him now did.

Sienna, panicking a little at how crappy she looked, opened the door and managed a smile.

“Brian? Hi, what are you doing here? I mean, the shop’s closed,” she said quickly.

Brian grinned.

“Relax, Sienna. I’m not the President, I’m still Brian who walked into your shop a few hours ago. No different.”

“Ha! Easy for you to say. You’re the one with millions of fans watching every move you make. You’re used to five star treatment. And here I am, opening up a shop for you after closing, and I’m wearing old sweats,” Sienna paused, then, seeing the ridiculousness of what she had just said, flushed. “Okay, so that was not what I meant to say. Let’s try again. Hello Brian, and good evening to you, too. My shop closed three hours ago, so I’m not quite sure why I let you in, but, now that you’re here, would you like another arrangement? Or would you just like to sit with the flowers? Either way works for me.”

She turned and walked back around the counter to the arrangements and picked up where she had started.

Brian shook his head a little. “Whew, that was a lot! I was just wandering down the street, taking a stroll, and I noticed your light was on. When I saw you, I thought I’d just stop in and say thank you for the flowers. My mother loved them.”

“Then why are you so sad?” Sienna slapped a hand over her mouth in horror. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I just said that.”

“Yeah you do,” Brian smiled. “And, yeah, I guess I am a little sad, or maybe it’s self-pity.”

“Your ex-fiancée? I heard she got married yesterday,” Sienna said. “I’m sorry if you were still in love with her.”

“How do you know so much about my life?” Brian wondered. “Unless you’re a fan.”

“Actually, I had heard of your band because my cousin is obsessed with you guys,” she grinned at his little groan, then continued. “But, I never paid much attention to it, and, I had no idea who you were when you came in here earlier. But, then, Faith—my obsessed cousin—showed up for dinner today and watched Access Hollywood. And, there you were. So, that’s how I now know who you are,” she finished.

“Ahh, it all makes sense now,” he smiled. Sienna really loved his smile and hated to ruin it but curiosity was killing her.

“You’re not elaborating on your ex, Brian,” she said. “Come on, let’s hear it. It can’t be too bad.”

Brian pulled up a chair at the counter as he watched her work and sighed.

“I loved her when she left. I came home from tour three days early and ran into her packing up and leaving. She hadn’t wanted to tell me face to face that she had run into Daniel again—her high school sweetheart,” Brian explained. Sienna nodded and he continued. “They had broken it off when he went into the military. She hadn’t wanted him to go, so she decided that not being with him was best. But, when she found out he was back because he had permanently injured his leg, Leigh went to talk to him. You know, catch up on things. And, apparently, one thing led to another and, well…” Brian trailed off.

“Wait, wait, wait. She cheated on you?! And then she left you to feel like a truck had run you over?! I think I hate her,” Sienna said.

“No, no. She said she realized that she was still in love with Daniel, and it wasn’t fair to me to keep thinking that she was in love with me. So, she broke it off before going back to Daniel,” Brian finished.

“Well, I guess I would have done that, too. But, it doesn’t make it any more fair to you,” Sienna added.

Both of them were silent as Brian watched Sienna wrap up the finished flower-filled, white baskets that Mrs. Johnson had ordered. Then, he helped her store them in the freezer.

Sienna walked into her small kitchen and called out to him. “Want some coffee? I sense we may be here a bit longer,” she poked her head out and smiled.

Brian ran his hands over his face then shrugged. “Oh, hell. I’m probably not going to sleep for awhile anyway. Sure, coffee sounds great.”

“So, do you still love Leighanne?” Sienna asked as she brought out two steaming mugs and set one in front of him.

Brian lifted the mug to his lips and sipped. “This is great coffee,” he said after a moment. Then, wincing at her look, he shook his head. “What is it with women and wanting to know everything?”

“We’re busybodies who need to know everything. Oh, come on, Brian!” she patted his shoulder. “You can tell me. I’m the Great Listener. Ask anybody. I listen to people’s problems and try to help them. Trust me.”

“Fine. Do I love her now?” Brian thought for a moment. “No. No, I don’t love her anymore, but the feeling of not being good enough is a constant wound that won’t go away.” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do, though. I want to be able to see Leighanne and not feel resentment towards her or myself. But I can’t. Kevin made me go to a therapist for almost two years. I still go every once in a while. Apparently, I have self-esteem issues.”

“Do you think you have low self-esteem?” Sienna asked.

“When I get nasty thoughts about myself, I realize that I do,” Brian answered. “So, I still go to a therapist. But it doesn’t help when I see my parents, and my mother makes a big fuss over how she doesn’t have a daughter-in-law yet.”

Ahh, Sienna thought. It all becomes clear, now. “So, you and your mom had an argument tonight, you went for a walk, and you ended up here. Am I right?”

“Yeah. She finally said that if I had simply tried harder or loved Leighanne more, I would have been happily married by now and maybe have a kid or two,” Brian murmured.

“Oh, Brian. I’m sorry. I wish I could fix it for you, but these things just take time. And, yeah, that’s a cliché, but it’s true,” Sienna added, then reached over and gave him a quick hug.

Brian drew in her scent and sighed inwardly.

“Well, this was a great, depressing conversation,” he said. “Let’s hear about you. Your story.”

Sienna waved it away. “Nah, it’s nothing great. Don’t worry about it. Besides, I’m a what you see is what you get girl.”

“Oh, come on. I just told you things I haven’t told my mother or my closest friends, and I’m trusting you with them. I have to know about the person I just trusted my deepest secret to,” Brian gave her a pitiful look and she had to laugh.

“Okay, fine. Where should I start?”

“At the beginning. Where did you grow up because, with that accent, it definitely wasn’t in Kentucky. Let me guess. Pennsylvania?” Brian wondered.

“Yeah,” Sienna said, surprised. “How did you figure that out?”

“Easy,” Brian grinned. “When you’ve traveled as much as I have, you can easily place accents. So, you grew up in Pennsylvania, and?”

“And, not much else. I graduated from high school, went to college, decided that botany and English literature were my callings and majored in both. And then, I moved here to be near my relatives and opened this shop. Business has been my life ever since,” Sienna finished.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Come on, Sienna. Let’s hear the details! Where did you go to college? Why did you move here and not stay in Pennsylvania? And where in Pennsylvania did you live?”

“Jesus, you ask a lot of questions! Okay, well, I went to Columbia University in New York City,” Sienna began.

“Whoa! Isn’t that an Ivy? So, you’re a smart woman! Well,” Brian said looking around the shop, “yeah, I believe it. Only a really intelligent person could pull off a set up like this.”

Sienna blushed. “Stop it. Anyone could do it so long as they loved flowers and were at all creative. Anyway, I went to Columbia and, like I said, I majored in botany and English literature. I moved to Kentucky during my junior year because…” she trailed off.

Brian noticed a sad expression flicker in her hazel eyes and laid his hand over hers on the counter.

“Sienna? What happened during your junior year of college?”

She looked up and met his eyes.

“My parents were killed,” she whispered.

Brian felt his heart break for her.

“Oh baby. I’m so sorry. What happened?” he murmured as he put an arm around her shoulders and drew her close.

She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. It was so easy to talk to him, she thought. And they’d known each other for only a few hours.

“They were driving home from a restaurant one night. It was their twenty third wedding anniversary, and a drunk driver hit them from the side. My mom was killed instantly. My dad was lucid enough during the drive to the hospital, but, when he heard one of the EMTs tell another one that my mom was dead, I think he gave up. My parents had been a unit since they were six. So, his heart just stopped beating. He never made it to the hospital. It was the worst day of my life,” she murmured. “Sometimes, I still feel them here. I wonder if they’d be proud of what I’ve done every day.” She sighed. “Anyway, I moved to Kentucky, which is where my closest relatives, my dad’s brothers, live. And, after graduation, I decided on this shop.”

Brian sat a moment and took it all in. “I think your parents would be very proud of you. Look at you! You’ve taken a bunch of flowers and turned it into something incredible. I envy you, you know.”

Sienna turned to look at him. “Why? You’ve got fans in every corner of the globe. And you envy me—a flower shop owner in Lexington, Kentucky?”

Brian sighed. “The fans can be overwhelming. I mean, there are days when I wish I were normal and anonymous like everyone else, you know? I always wanted to go to college, and I couldn’t. And, if I wasn’t famous, I’d still have brothers,” he added sadly.

Sienna frowned. “You had siblings? Why don’t you have them anymore?”

“Well, yeah, I have one brother. But I meant the other Boys. I haven’t seen or talked to any of them in three months. Kevin’s spending time with his wife, Howie’s doing something or other with real estate and acting, AJ’s taking time for himself and working on staying sober, and Nick…” Brian stopped.

“And Nick?” Sienna asked.

Brian ran his fingers wearily through his hair. “Nick and I haven’t talked in months. There was a time, less than a year ago, when we couldn’t get away from each other. We spent all our time together, and we were best friends. But, when the rest of us decided we wanted to leave our management company, Nick decided to stay on. He used them for his own solo career. I didn’t even know he wanted a solo career!” Brian stood and began pacing. “For God’s sake, the kid was happy being a Backstreet Boy, and, one day, he says, ‘Well, I think I’ll leave y’all now and go do this on my own.’ So, we argued, and I stormed out of the meeting. I was so angry. Part of me may still be angry, but I miss him. I can’t take back what I said, Sienna. And I wish I could.” He sighed and dropped down into the chair again.

Sienna was quiet for a few moments. “Brian, would it make you feel better to talk to him? I mean, if the two of you were so close, isn’t it possible he might be feeling the same way you are? He might be lonely, sad, and still a little resentful, too. You’d never know unless you talked to him.”

“Maybe. I don’t think I’m ready yet. He’s got too much on his plate right now, too. His album’s coming out soon and then the tour…” Brian trailed off. “I’m just too much of a coward right now to face him.”

Sienna shook her head. “It’s got nothing to do with being a coward. So, you’re afraid to face him, and he’s probably the same way. So, give yourself time. Don’t worry about it right now. If he’s got a lot on his plate, then just give him space. It’ll work out in the end. Stuff like this usually does.”

“I hope so,” Brian murmured. “I really hope so.” Then, he seemed to perk up. “You know, this is gonna sound really weird, but I’ve never talked to anyone about all this stuff, besides my therapist, of course. And the craziest part is that I’ve only known you for about” he glanced at his watch “six hours. I could probably tell you my entire life’s story the way I’m feeling.”

Sienna laughed. “No, I know what you mean. It is strange. I mean, I haven’t talked about my parents for a long time. But it was just easy to talk to you. I like you, Brian. Really, I’m glad you walked into my flower shop.”

Brian swallowed carefully and tried to ignore the bump his heart had felt when she’d said she liked him. “Well, I like you, too, Sienna. And I’m damn glad I walked into your flower shop because I’ve got myself a new friend.”

And then, neither one knowing what to say next, they stared at each other for long moments, until Sienna broke eye contact and looked down at her watch.

“Wow, it’s almost midnight,” she managed to say. “I have to be back here at seven-thirty in the morning, so I’m actually going to kick you out.”

Brian grinned, a little relieved that the tension was broken. “I see how it is. If this is the way you treat paying customers, then I don’t know how you’ve been so successful.” He shook his head. “Some people.”

Sienna smiled then frowned when her cell phone rang. “Hold on a second,” she said to Brian as she dug the phone out of her bag. Glancing at the readout, she realized it was Scott and found that she really didn’t want to talk to him just now. And then felt guilty.

“Are you going to answer that?” Brian wondered as the phone continued to ring.

Sienna snapped out of it and looked over at him. “Huh? Oh, yeah, umm.” She hit the TALK button just as the phone stopped ringing and shrugged. “Oh well. I’ll call ‘em back. No problem.”

Brian frowned. “Was it someone you don’t want to talk to?”

Sienna shook her head. “No, no. It was my boyfriend, Scott.” Because she wasn’t looking at Brian but at the phone, she missed his expression. “It’s just weird because I don’t understand why he would call right now. He’s usually sleeping by now because he works at the military base and has to get to work by four in the morning.” She sighed. “I’ll call him when I get home.” Then she looked up at Brian. “Listen, I hate to run, but it was really great meeting you and talking. Feel free to drop by any time. Oh, and here, I’ll give you my number, in case you ever need anything.” She scribbled her number onto a business card and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” Brian murmured. “So, I’d like to think I’ve made a friend today. Are we? Friends?”

Sienna held out a hand. “Friends?”

Brian shook it. “Friends.”

***

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