Chapter 2

Love is…

Kisses in a bean bag chair

Two of us with no one there…

The only that keeps me sane

At the end of the day is that I’ve got you…

Brian pressed the buttons on the security keypad outside the gates to his home and felt more secure as the gates opened. No one could get in unless they knew the number, and Sienna had promised that only the two of them would ever know it. He drove his car, the BMW he’d bought to replace the one he’d lost in an accident nearly three years before, and parked it next to Sienna’s. He had decided to break from the tour and fly home for the day he’d had in between his St. Louis and Chicago shows. The feeling that something was going to go wrong had increased, and he knew it wouldn’t go away unless he went home.

“Honey!” Brian called, pushing open the front door. “I’m home!”

“Brian?” Sienna’s confused voice sounded from the back of the house. Following it, he heard the pitter-patter of two sets of feet and grinned as his daughters came rushing down the hall from the kitchen.

“Da! Da!” Kara and Serena gurgled and attached themselves to his legs. They were petite and fairy-like, and both wore little sweaters and mini-jeans. Sienna had discovered that Kara had slightly pointy, elfin ears, while Serena simply had rounded ears. At the moment, as they laughed up at him, there was no difference between the two. He scooped them into his arms and grinned as Sienna came into the foyer carrying Luke, who blinked at Brian.

“Hey,” Sienna smiled as she kissed him. “This is quite the surprise. We weren’t expecting you for another, oh, four weeks.”

Brian shrugged. “I needed to see you guys. I’ve missed you,” he murmured kissing her again. He would’ve deepened it if it hadn’t been for the three children they held between them. The twins clapped, and Luke yawned and gurgled happily. “Well, guess that’ll have to wait until they’re all sleeping, huh?” He looked down at the twins in his arms. “I’ll never get used to how fast you guys grow, you know,” he told them and kissed their foreheads. He grinned over at Luke. “Hey little guy,” he murmured, stroking his finger down the baby’s cheek. He looked up at Sienna. “They keeping you up at night?”

She shook her head. “Surprisingly, no. Kara and Serena are out by nine, and Luke usually falls asleep as soon as I feed him, which is usually around nine-thirty. During the day, Shane usually takes them when I go into the shop. He says they’re fantastic.” She looked at him quizzically. “Baby, not that I’m complaining or anything, but aren’t you supposed to be on tour somewhere?”

Brian shrugged. “Yeah, but I needed to see y’all. I don’t know how long I’m going to be able to keep touring if I miss you this much every time I leave.”

Sienna sighed. “Brian,” she began, but he cut her off.

“It’s okay. I’m still going to do it, but I’ll just make sure it’s more flexible. Such as today,” he said, setting down the twins who had begun wriggling around, antsy to get off and play. “The show in St. Louis was last night, and the one in Chicago isn’t until tomorrow night. I wheeled and dealed with Holly and we agreed that I could come home until tomorrow at eleven, when I have a flight back. So, until then,” he began, lifting Luke out of her arms, “I’m all yours.”

“All mine, huh?” she said, giving him a wicked grin. “I think I can come up with some things to do with you.”

“Lead on, oh mistress,” Brian bowed and grinned when Luke gurgled again at the movement. “You like that, buddy?” he said to his son. “Yeah, mommy owes me, then.” And he grinned at Sienna as she rolled her eyes.

“Well, slave of mine, are you planning on going to see Livvy and Ryan in the hospital? They’re not supposed to come home until tomorrow morning,” Sienna reminded him.

“Oh, yeah!” Brian remembered. “I can’t believe Howie’s a dad! Yeah, of course, I’ll go see them. When are visiting hours over?” he asked her.

Sienna glanced at a clock set on a table. “You’ve still got a couple hours. Why don’t you head over now, and I’ll get these guys fed, then we’ll have our own relaxing time.”

“Sounds like a plan—except I want to be here to help feed them. I’ve missed that fun event, you know,” Brian grinned.

Sienna shrugged. “Sure, that works, too. Tell Livvy and Howie I said hello.”

Brian handed Luke back to her and headed for the door. “I will.”

***

After finding out Liv’s room number, Brian made his way to the fourth floor, maternity ward and walked down the hall looking for the right room. When he found it, he knocked and waited for the “Come in!”

Liv smiled when he walked into the room. “Well, look who it is! I didn’t think we’d see you until April. What are you doing home?”

Brian kissed her cheek and grinned at the baby that slept in her arms. “I came back to see this little guy. Wow,” he admired the baby. “He looks like Howie, except with black hair.”

“Yeah, that’s what everyone says,” Liv told him.

Howie walked into the room, then, and did a double take when he saw Brian. Then he smiled, hugely. “Rok! Man, I didn’t think we’d see you for another month. Not until it was time for us to go on tour.”

Brian shook his head as he gave a Howie a quick hug. “Nah. I decided I needed to see the latest member of the quickly-growing Backstreet family. And I must say, you and Livvy did a fantastic job. Although, I think most of the credit goes to her,” he added, winking at Liv.

“Uh-huh,” Howie smiled. “It does. She’s the one that did all the work.”

“That’s right,” Liv agreed. “He just played around, while I had to do the hard part.”

Howie leaned over and kissed her. “You know if there was a way to transfer pain, I would’ve done it,” he told her.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Liv waved it off, but her expression softened a little as she looked at him, adoringly. Brian couldn’t help but grin at the two of them. And to think, they may never have met if it hadn’t been for him and Sienna.

A nurse came in, nodded at Brian and Howie, and turned to Liv. “Mrs. Dorough, the doctor will be in soon to examine you and make sure everything is okay. We’ll take your son to the nursery, and you can have him back as soon as we do the full, second day check up on him.”

Liv nodded. “Sounds good,” she told the nurse, who smiled and left the room. “Well guys, I think it’s time for you to leave for a bit. Do you mind?”

Brian shook his head, while Howie leaned over and squeezed her hand. “I’ll be back, soon.”

***

As they sat in the waiting room until Liv’s exam was done, Howie looked over at Brian. “Seriously, I’m glad you came, but I didn’t buy all that crap about wanting to see Ryan being your only reason, you know,” Howie raised a brow expectantly.

Brian sighed. “It’s about those phone calls,” he began.

“I kind of figured it was. I thought you switched your number?” Howie wondered.

“I know, I did,” Brian told him. “But, somehow, I got another message yesterday. I’m starting to get nervous about this. This guy found out my new number, who’s to say he won’t find out the code for the gates?”

Howie squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Relax, Brian. Shane, Harry, and I have been going over to the house a lot. And Shane’s got the kids all day. Besides, when Si’s in the shop, Marlena’s there the entire time. Nothing’s going to go wrong. And if you have such a bad feeling about this, why don’t you tell Sienna?”

“Ha!” Brian shook his head. “If I told her, she’d give me this look and tell me that she can take care of herself and the kids. And she can, I know she can. It’s just—you never know. I have this itch, like something’s about to go terribly wrong.”

“If it makes you feel better, AJ’s coming down the day after tomorrow. He could stay at your house instead of with Kevin and Kristin. How’s that sound?” Howie asked him.

“I think it might make me feel better,” Brian said slowly. Then, he brightened. “Actually, knowing that there’s someone there with them will make me feel a whole hell of a lot better. Thanks Howie! I’ll clear it with Sienna and talk to AJ. She just can’t know why he’s really staying there.”

Howie smiled. “I think we can pull that off. I promise nothing is going to happen to your family, Brian. It’s just a prank caller who’s being a real bastard about it. When he realizes he’s not going to get a rise out of you, he’ll probably back out.”

“Probably,” Brian agreed.

***

You’re my secret place

Where I can be myself

You connect with me

Like nobody else

Brian poured two glasses of white wine and passed one over to Sienna, who sat in the middle of their bed. Then, he got onto it and sat next to her. Their kids were sleeping after having been fed. Which had been quite the event, Brian remembered with a grin. Kara had thrown peas at Serena who had proceeded to burst into tears. Of course, she had gotten even by knocking over Kara’s sippy cup so the cap came off and spilled water over her twin. As Kara had howled, Brian had taken her and fed her in the dining room away from her sister. Sienna had simply shaken her head and given him an “And you thought it would be fun” look. He had shrugged and told her it still was. Luke had been even easier to take care of because he just needed to be changed, which Brian had gladly done. Sienna had started him on formula, so he had fed the baby. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have such a wonderful family. The kids were healthy and Sienna was the only woman he could ever imagine having by his side.

“Ryan’s so tiny,” Brian told her, turning his thoughts to the present.

Sienna grinned. “Please, it’s not like Luke wasn’t smaller. He’s still little, but that’s probably because he’s only two and a half months old. Ryan’s a good size. I’m glad Liv and Howie have such a healthy baby, too.”

“Thank God,” Brian murmured. He turned to her, then, and gently turning her head towards him, kissed her. Before either of them knew it, the kiss had gone deep enough to make them want more. They hadn’t made love since October when Sienna had been too pregnant, and both of them were acutely aware of that fact.

Sienna sat back breathing shakily. “I’m going to spill this wine if we’re not careful,” she warned him.

Brian lifted a brow. “Do we want to be careful? I mean, do we have to be careful, now?” he added, thinking that it had been two and a half months since she had given birth and two months since her surgery.

“I think I’ll be okay, Brian,” she told him and smiled. He reached over and took the wineglass from her hand and set both on the side table.

“If you’re sure,” he murmured, drawing her into his arms. “It’s been so long.”

Sienna fell into his next kiss and moaned a little as his lips traveled down her neck. “It has been, and I need you, Brian. Don’t hold back.”

He pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat. “I won’t.”

She wrapped her arms around him as his lips moved back to hers, and they took, hungry for more. His hands slid from her face, to her shoulders, where he gently pushed the straps of her tank top off then slipped the top over head. When he went to lean her back into the pillows, she tugged on the hem of his shirt until it was off.

Pressed skin to skin, both reveled in the feeling that they had missed over the past few months. Brian pressed his lips to hers again as his hands traveled over her. When he cupped her breasts, she moaned. It had been too long for both of them, Brian thought, then lowered his mouth to her. But she was still the same. Still the same woman he had given his heart to for always.

“Sienna,” he murmured, his voice hoarse with passion. “It’s still the same. You’re all I’ll ever want,” he murmured, pressing his lips over her heart.

She opened her eyes and looked into his. “So are you,” she told him and brought his lips back to hers.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as his lips trailed over her face, then down her throat. “I can’t get enough of you.”

She twisted until she was straddling him and wriggled out of the sweatpants she wore. Pressing her lips over his heart, she smiled up into his eyes. “I love you, Brian. Only you,” she murmured and helped him drag off the last pieces of clothing he wore. She trailed her fingers over the tattoo on his arm. “Rock of Ages,” she whispered. “My rock.”

“Always,” Brian promised as he turned so she was pressed back underneath him. As he positioned himself, his lips returned to hers, and her eyes closed. Brian tried to control his breathing. “Sienna,” he managed to say. “Sienna, look at me. I need you to look at me,” he whispered, hoarsely.

When her eyes opened and locked onto his, he slid into her. “I love you,” he murmured. “Forever and always,” he added and watched the tears fill her eyes.

“I love you, Brian,” she managed to say before she crested and all she could see was the blue of his eyes. As her arms wrapped around him, Brian pressed his lips to hers. The last thing he remembered, besides the impossible green of her eyes, was feeling as though it was the last time they would ever be like this. Then, he couldn’t even remember that as he went deeper and was lost.

Lyrics from “Love Is” Backstreet Boys

***

Next

Back to index