Chapter 27

“Ouch.”

Brian didn’t bother to look over as Nick slid into a chair next to him. “Shut up, Nick.”

“And touchy, too.” Nick tsked a little. “I’m telling you, that Kara. She’s got a mean left jab like you wouldn’t believe.”

“That looks like somebody scratched his face to hell, Nicky,” AJ corrected him, settling in at a chair across the table from the other two. He peered at Brian’s cheek. “So, what happened?”

Brian glared at the other two. “Nothing. Drop it.”

“Drop what?” Kevin sat next to AJ. “Oh, wow.” He whistled lightly. “That’s quite the fight you must have gotten into, Bri. What happened?”

Brian let out a frustrated sound. “Look, can we just drop whatever happened to my face? We’re not here to talk about my face, we’re talking about our tour. Where the hell is D?”

The other men exchanged worried glances as Brian walked to the door to search for Howie. Brian was edgier than they’d ever seen him before, and they’d all seen each other at their lowest. This, though, was new and more worrisome because they knew Brian was still dealing with Sienna’s return and the fact that she’d been sexually abused. The fact that he wasn’t talking about the mysterious, red slash marks across his cheek was troubling because he would normally have told them anything that would have gone wrong.

He knew they were thinking about him. Brian paced outside the office that they were meeting in to discuss their impending tour. He knew they were worried about the painful marks that were still visible on his face. The therapist appointment had been a week ago, and, even with Mac’s doctoring, the scratches continued to sting and were bright red. They’d been covered by a bandage, but he’d taken it off after feeling ridiculous wearing a giant, white bandage on his face.

He hadn’t been able to see Sienna in the past week as she had stopped eating dinner with him and would leave the house at ungodly hours in the morning to go to the shop. When she was home, she’d take care of the children if he weren’t around, which was rarely. She was avoiding him like the plague, and he was getting tired of it. He loved her, but he knew they weren’t supposed to avoid each other, either. Knowing that if he didn’t get out of the house, he’d go crazy from the tension, he’d called the other guys and arranged for a meeting to discuss their tour.

Which was why he was in LA—across the country from his problems. Because AJ’s promotion schedule had him in LA, the other guys had decided to meet up there. So, he would have to face them now, Brian thought. And he’d have to deflect and evade all their questions. Much as he loved them and knew they’d do anything for him, he couldn’t tell them. He just…couldn’t.

“Brian?”

He whirled around to find Howie watching him with concern clearly etched across his features.

“Howie! You’re late! You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago!” He couldn’t stop himself from sounding testy and tried to control the impatience he was constantly feeling.

Howie raised a brow. “How do the scratches feel?”

Of course, Howie knew about the “incident”. Sienna had told Liv what had happened, Liv had told Howie, and Howie had come over immediately to make sure Brian had been okay. Of course, he wasn’t okay, but he hadn’t been able to tell Howie that. He didn’t want them worrying about him when he was already worried enough for all of them. Nevertheless, Howie did know, and Brian didn’t want to chance the rest of the guys finding out. He wasn’t sure he could handle the sympathy.

“Look, I didn’t tell the other guys what happened, and I don’t want to worry them, so if we could just keep this between the two of us, that would be great,” Brian replied.

“It’s not fair to them, Bri.”

Brian stopped, his hand on the doorknob, and looked over at Howie. “Right now, life isn’t exactly fair, D. I’ve given up on how to make things any better and placed all my trust in God to get my family through this. I just can’t drag y’all into this, too. Please, try to understand.”

Howie contemplated this for a moment, knowing that Brian was in more pain than he let on. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. I won’t bring it up. I promise.”

Brian managed a half smile. “Thanks, D. It means a lot.”

“No problem.”

Brian pushed open the door and pasted his usual smile across his face. “Look who I found in the hallway!”

Howie followed him into the room and, greeting the other guys, slid into a chair across from Kevin, on Brian’s other side. He noted the glances the others sent in Brian’s direction, worry obvious in them. He shrugged when they silently asked him if he knew what was going on. He’d promised Brian, after all.

“So,” Brian sat. “I called this meeting because we have a tour that should have started a week and a half ago. What happened to it?”

Kevin leaned forward. “We postponed it.”

“Because of the kidnapping,” Brian guessed, and the others nodded. “Okay, well, that’s over now. What are y’all planning on doing now?”

AJ frowned. “What do you mean ‘y’all’? You’re part of the group, too. We make these decisions together, B.”

“I know,” Brian began. “But I think we’re going to have to work out a different plan with this tour.”

Howie felt alarmed. What was Brian about to suggest?

“Well, while the investigation was still open, we discussed postponing the tour until the end of May. At which point, we would have our shows at the same venues, in more or less the same order unless something didn’t work out. Then, those shows would simply be tacked onto the end of the tour or possibly canceled,” Kevin explained. “I think WEG worked out the new schedule already, and it’s on the official website, too,” he added.

“I see.” Brian looked around at the rest of them. “And if I was still not ready to leave my family alone? After all, the end of May would only give me a month and a half with them.”

Nick spoke up then. “We figured that if you weren’t ready, we’d just postpone it until you were. It’s all for one and one for all, Brian. You know that.”

“How long did you plan on postponing the tour?”

AJ was beginning to feel nervous now. “As long as you needed. Realistically, we know you can’t postpone forever, but we’re willing to be flexible.”

Brian nodded. “Could flexible mean beginning the newly scheduled tour and finishing it?” He paused. “Without me?”

All four pairs of eyes glued themselves to him as all four pairs of eyebrows shot up.

“What the hell…?” AJ couldn’t ask the question. Was hoping they’d heard wrong.

“You heard me, fellas,” Brian reassured them. “I think we should have the tour as it is now, but you should do it without me. I can’t leave, right now. Until everything with my wife is resolved, until she stops having nightmares, I will not and cannot leave. End of story.”

“Brian, do you really think we could do a whole tour without you? I mean, yeah, we can do a show here and there without one of us, but a whole tour?!” Kevin shook his head. “Fuck no.”

Brian stood. “Look, we can’t push this tour back indefinitely. We’re losing money this way”

“Fuck money!” AJ stood, too. “Do you think money really matters as much as us being together does?”

“Guys,” Brian began but was cut off.

“I’ve gotta side with them, Bri,” Nick told him. “We won’t postpone the tour if you don’t come with us. We’ll cancel the whole thing. Right?” He glanced around at the others for support.

Howie nodded. “We don’t need to do the tour. As it stands, we’ve let a lot of time go between the album release and this tour. We might just be better off letting it go and recording the next album as planned, starting in July. Do you think you could join us for that, Brian?”

Brian hated disappointing them. Hated that look he could see in their eyes as he let them down, but he couldn’t leave Sienna and the kids. Not when everything was on such precarious grounds.

“I feel like I’m walking a tightrope,” he murmured, slumping down in his chair. “I don’t want to let you down, but I can’t leave my family, either. You have to understand that.”

“We do,” Kevin said gently. “I think Howie’s got a great idea. Our fans might not be thrilled, initially, but they’ll support us if we come clean as to why we want to cancel the tour. Plus, the prospect of another album might do wonders to change their minds.” He smiled a little.

“Yeah,” AJ said slowly. “I hate to be self-centered and all, but, if we cancel the tour, I might be able to promote my album more.”

Brian nodded. “It would, wouldn’t it? That would be really good for you. Congratulations, by the way. I heard it hit number seven after this past week.”

AJ grinned. “Awesome, isn’t it? First week out, and it’s hit in the top ten! So, yeah, canceling the tour would be okay in my book. Anyone else?”

Howie shrugged. Nick looked over at Kevin, then sighed. “Yeah, it wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’ve been wanting to experiment some more with a couple new artists on my label. So, what the hell, let’s cancel. Kevin?”

“Y’all want to get rid of the tour, so let’s get rid of it. I wouldn’t mind more family time, either. I love what we do, but we have to put ourselves first, too.” He sighed. “But damn. It’s going to be a nightmare to explain to Johnny, Jive, and the world.”

“We can do it,” Nick declared, and the others agreed.

AJ patted Brian’s shoulder. “See? Everything’s going to work out. It usually does in the end.”

Brian smiled a little. He really did hope so because he wasn’t sure if he could handle the tension in his home for too much longer.

As Kevin began to divide the list of people they needed to contact in order to officially cancel the tour, Brian’s cell phone beeped. When he glanced down at the caller ID, his heart sped up.

“Guys,” he stood. “I gotta take this. I’ll be back in a bit.” When they nodded, he slipped out into the hall and flipped open the phone.

“Hello?”

***

Sienna stroked her fingers over Serena’s curls as the little girl napped in her crib, her siblings sleeping peacefully in their own cribs. The sunlight was streaming in through the half-closed blinds, and the silence was…Scary, she thought.

It reminded her of the afternoon she and her children had been kidnapped. Everything was almost exactly the same, the sunlight, the quiet was almost identical to that idyllic scene that had gone so horribly wrong. Now, she was standing in the room where her children were napping, the door to the nursery was locked, and she was still afraid that someone could swoop in through the window and take them again.

Which was ridiculous, Sienna scolded herself. Hadn’t Brian installed a ridiculously thorough system, complete with security cameras and guard that had been set up in a newly built booth situated by the back gate where he’d be less conspicuous. At the time, she had thought that she would be okay with only a new system, but, now, with Brian gone, she was freaking out.

And where had her husband gone off to? Sienna wondered. He had left her a note on the refrigerator the previous morning that had basically told her that he’d be gone for a couple days and to call his cell if she needed anything. She couldn’t blame him for being a little distant, Sienna knew. After all, she’d wrecked his beautiful face, hadn’t she? She hadn’t actually seen it face to face during the day, but she had sneaked into his room while he’d been sleeping. What she’d seen had shocked, appalled, and shamed her. She’d hurt her husband when all he’d wanted to do was help her heal, and the shame continued to burn in her.

She’d tried to think of what had happened in Dr. Lewis’ office that day, one week ago. She’d been rehashing what had happened the day Scott had discovered that she’d sent Brian a message, and the usual pain had struck her. When she’d felt his hands touch her, she’d frozen. Looking up at him, she hadn’t seen Brian, she’d seen Scott. It was irrational to her now, though Dr. Lewis kept insisting that it was good that she’d seen her fear and relived it. That she’d fought it this time instead of letting herself be defeated.

And talk about fighting it, she thought now, as she settled into a rocking chair to stare out the window at her gardens. She’d physically slapped back at Scott and, in the process, mangled her husband’s left cheek. He’d bled profusely, and she’d seen the shirt covered with his blood in the trashcan in the laundry room. Seeing it had shamed her to no end, and she’d avoided him ever since. She’d told Livvy what had happened, of course, so Howie had come over to talk to Brian. She didn’t know the result of that discussion, but Brian hadn’t approached her in the past week, so she was figuring that he was wary of her now.

If only she could change it. If only she could go all the way back to the twentieth of February and be more careful. She could make sure that everything was secure, that the back gate’s combination was working properly, that all the alarms on the doors and windows were working properly. If only, Sienna thought and, closing her eyes, let the sunlight play across her face.

The light was warm, and she let herself drift in the feeling of being safe, content for the moment. Her children were dozing peacefully, and her world was at rest. When the tinkling sound reached her ears, she imagined it was the wind chimes she had hung up outside and listened to their music.

Which was why the smothering sensation surprised her. The darkness was no longer warm but cold, suffocating. She couldn’t breathe, and a sickly sweet smell was permeating her senses, making her feel dizzy, lightheaded. Her arms and legs felt heavy, and weakness was seeping into her, preventing her from fighting back. Oh God, not again, she managed to think before everything fell apart.

Sienna woke gasping for air and drenched in cold sweat. She looked around at the nursery and, rushing over to the cribs, ran her hands over her children to reassure herself that they were safe. When she’d convinced herself they were fine, she dashed through the house, making sure everything was locked. As a final check, she called the security guard and made sure that nothing was wrong with the cameras.

“No, ma’am,” he assured her. “I’ve been watching them all day, and everything’s fine. I promise I’ll let you know the instant something is wrong.”

“Okay, thank you,” Sienna murmured and hung up.

She paced the kitchen still feeling too wound up to settle down. Why did she have Saturdays off anyway? If she were at work, she wouldn’t be worrying about any of this. Of course, she wouldn’t be with her children, either, she reminded herself and headed back up to the nursery to check on them.

On the way up, she eyed the telephone sitting on a table in the foyer. Should she call Livvy? No, she shook the idea off as soon as she’d thought it. Liv had been her rock more times than she could count in the past few weeks, and she had a baby to care for on top of everything. She couldn’t impose on Liv again.

When the realization came to her that the person she really needed to hear was the one person she knew she could always count on, she was surprised at herself. How had her instincts gone from “No Man” to “I need to hear his voice, let him comfort me”? Hadn’t she hurt him? How could she face him, knowing that, even if he were with her, she might not be able to let him hold her? Whatever happened, she knew she needed to just feel close to him again.

Without giving herself a chance to rethink it, Sienna grabbed the telephone and dialed the number.

***

Brian rested his forehead against the wall and listened to the voice on the other end. What was going on? he couldn’t help but think. All of a sudden, their relationship had gone from no communication to her calling him for help, for comfort. Of course, despite the events of the past few months, he’d always help her. Unconditionally. Because that’s the way he was. Fiercely loyal and unbelievably generous with his heart.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he promised.

There was a tiny sigh of relief. “Thanks, Brian. I love you,” she told him, the smile detectable in her words.

He couldn’t help but smile, too. “Yeah, you better!” he joked. “I love you, too. I’ll be there. I promise.”

Hanging up, he stood for a moment, absorbing the sheer madness of the past week. He’d been witness to Sienna’s horrible pain, a pain which had lashed out at him, unknowingly. Since then, she’d avoided him, and he’d made no move to seek her out, either. Then, he’d left for LA, leaving her a note saying to call him if she needed anything. To end the week of personal surprises, the phone call was a welcome one. Just goes to show God can do anything He wants, he reminded himself.

Brian pushed open the door to the conference room again and strode in to find all four men on their cell phones. They were busy trying to arrange a way to cancel every show on the tour, and he felt ashamed that he was forcing them to put their dreams aside for his happiness. He knew they loved him and truly didn’t mind, but…still.

Kevin hung up first and looked over at his cousin, a questioning look in his eyes.

“I have to go, guys,” Brian began.

The other three glanced over at him now.

“Where?” Nick wondered. “Who called?”

Brian sighed. “You’ll never guess.”

“Who?” Howie asked again.

Brian looked down at the cell phone in his hand then up at his brothers.

“Kelly. She’s in the hospital. She wouldn’t tell me why, but she said it was important that I come. So, I have to go.”

***

Sienna waited impatiently after hitting the button to open the front gate. A car careened up the drive and parked sloppily next to her own. The driver emerged, and, unable to wait, she opened the door and hurried out.

“Sienna! What’s going on?”

He was worried, she knew. He’d always worry about her, and it couldn’t be helped. Cousin or not, he was the brother of her heart. She didn’t feel afraid as she rushed towards him, nor did she feel alarm as his arms enveloped her in a hug.

“Shane. Thank God, you’re here.”

***

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