Chapter 30
One night, Olivia and Nick were
watching TV in her room. Olivia’s
parents had already turned in for the night, so it was just the two of
them.
Suddenly, Olivia rolled over and asked,
“Hey, Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you take me to the beach?”
Nick glanced at her, thinking maybe she
was having one of her episodes. Lately,
Olivia sometimes said things that made no sense. She couldn’t help it, he knew; it was just
another side-effect the tumor was causing.
“Um… well, Liv,
I dunno if that’s possible. You’re
supposed to stay in bed, remember?”
“I know, and I don’t care. Please, Nick, I just want to go out to the
beach and see the ocean,” she begged.
Nick hesitated. She wasn’t having an episode; she sounded
perfectly clear. She knew what she
wanted, and he knew she would beg him until she got it.
“But, Liv,
you can see the ocean from here,” he told her, pointing out the window.
“That’s not good enough. I want to go down to the beach,” she said
stubbornly.
Nick was surprised by the sudden energy
in her voice. And he knew he couldn’t
tell her no. “Well… alright,” he said
finally.
She smiled, making him feel instantly
wonderful inside. “Thanks, Nick,” she
said gratefully.
“No problem, sweetie. Come on,” Nick said, helping her sit up in
bed. “It’s chilly outside, you better
put this on.” He handed her a hooded,
zip-up sweatshirt and helped her get it on.
“Okay, now let’s go,” Olivia said
anxiously.
Nick nodded and picked her up. She had always been thin, but lately, she
had lost a ton of weight, and her gaunt body felt feather-light, so it was easy
for him to carry her around.
Silently, as to not wake her parents,
Nick took her out the back door and through the backyard, all the way down to
the beach, where they had spent many summer nights together.
Once they had reached the beach, Nick
set her gently down in the sand. He sat
down Indian-style and eased her head down so that it was lying in his lap.
“It’s so beautiful out here,” Olivia
commented, sighing contentedly as she gazed up at the star-filled sky.
“I know,” Nick agreed. But he was glancing down at her instead.
“Nick, can I tell you something?”
Olivia asked.
“Sure, what?”
“Make sure that when I die, my body is
cremated, and my ashes are sprinkled into the ocean. Okay?”
“Liv, come
on, let’s not talk about that now,” Nick pleaded.
Nick, we have to talk about it,” she
said sharply. “I could die at anytime,
and you know it. My parents don’t want
to talk about it either; you’re all I have.
I don’t want to be put in some big box and shoved into the ground. I want to be in the ocean. Okay?
Make sure that happens.”
“I will, Olivia,” he promised. “Now, can we please talk about something
else?”
She sighed. “Sure,” she said, but they both fell silent,
not knowing what else to talk about.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Nick asked
after awhile, noticing how quiet she was.
“What do you think I’m thinking about?”
Olivia shot back.
“Liv, it’s
not good to keep thinking about death all the time,” he said. “You have to think positive, keep up the
faith.”
“What’s the point? I’m going to die anyway, Nick. Nothing can save me.”
“A miracle could,” he insisted, his
voice small and stubborn sounding.
She sighed. “Nicky, that’s not going to happen. We have to face reality. I’m going to die. Soon.”
“It might not be that soon,” Nick
argued. “Your doctor said it could be
months. It’s only been a matter of
weeks.”
“I know that. But I just have this feeling that it’s going
to be really soon. I want to be ready
for it,” she said.
“How could you ever be ready to die?”
Nick asked.
“I guess you can’t really,” she
admitted. “But thinking about it
helps. It’s like I’m preparing myself
for it.”
Nick was silent. Whenever she got so serious like this, it
made him uncomfortable. He just wanted
to see her laugh and smile again. He
wanted her to be happy.
“I love you, Nick,” Olivia said softly.
Nick’s heart began to hammer, and he
shook his head. “Don’t do that, Olivia,”
he said. “You’re saying that like you’ll
never say it again. It’s not time. Not yet.”
She said nothing, just stared up the
sky, her eyes sparkling with tears.
Nick felt a shiver run through her
body. “Are you ready to go in yet?” he
asked gently.
“No, not yet,” she said firmly. “If I could, I would stay here all night.”
Nick smiled. “I know you would. But we have to go in soon. If your parents go to check on you and find
you gone, they’ll be worried.”
“They’ll know I’m with you. And besides, they’re asleep anyway,” she
said.
Nick sighed. She was always so stubborn, even now.
Eventually, they did go inside
though. By the time Nick lay her back
down in her bed, Olivia could barely keep her eyes open. He tucked her in, just like his mother had
done to him when he was a kid, and smoothed her hair off her face.
“Hey, Nick? Will you do me a favor?” she asked.
“Sure, anything,” he replied.
”Turn on my CD player and hit play.”
Perplexed, Nick did so. A soft, country ballad began to play. He looked at Olivia in surprise. “I didn’t know you were a country fan.”
“I’m not usually. But this is my favorite song,” she
replied. “I just wanted to hear it
before I went to sleep.”
He nodded and let the song play. He wasn’t much of a country fan either, but
he had to admit, it was a pretty song.
When the song ended, Olivia smiled
gently. “Thank you, Nick. You’re so good to me,” she whispered.
Nick smiled back. “Don’t talk,” he said. “Just get some sleep.”
She nodded. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”
“Of course,” he replied.
She smiled again and closed her
eyes. A moment later, she opened them
again. “I love you, Nick,” she
whispered.
A lump rose in Nick’s throat, and he
smiled. “I love you too, Liv.”
It was the first time he had spoken
those words to her. Olivia smiled up at
him, a smile he would never forget, and then closed her ocean-blue eyes. He sat by her side and held her hand, as she
drifted off to sleep.
When he was sure she was asleep, Nick
bent over and kissed her lips as softly as a whisper. “Goodnight, Olivia,” he whispered and left
the room.
***
It was early the next morning when Nick
got the phone call.
“She’s gone, Nick,” said Olivia’s
mother, sniffing back tears.
“What?!” Nick cried.
“Olivia passed away last night, honey. In her sleep.
No pain,” Melinda said softly.
Nick spoke to her for a few more
minutes, but later, he wouldn’t remember any of it. As soon as he hung up, he broke down into
tears and sobbed.
***
