Chapter
14:
You Da Man!
One year later
A year had passed since his death, and up in Heaven, Brian was
rather enjoying himself. He and Angelica
had been dating for eleven months now, and he had almost forgotten about
Taylor, who was still back on Earth, pining for him.
One day, Brian and Angelica and a few of their friends were having
a backyard barbeque at Brian’s house, when God came a’calling. “Brian,” boomed God in his deep bass voice,
and Brian immediately climbed out of his giant golden swimming pool.
Wiping the flecks of sparking water from his face with a fluffy
white towel and adjusting his halo, he said, “Hey, God, ‘sup?”
“Nothin’ much, just chillin’,” replied God. “I wanted to talk to you about something, my
son.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Come with me; we must speak privately.” God and Brian walked across the golden patio
to a more secluded part of the backyard.
There, God said, “Brian, you have served me well, both here in Heaven
and during your life on Earth. I have
noticed that many people adored you while you were alive and still love you to
this day, even though it has been a year since your passing. I am beginning to think I was mistaken in
bringing you Home to me so early in your life.”
“Mistaken? But, God, you
never make mistakes!”
“Oh yes, my son, even God makes mistakes. Why, look at your rival group, ‘N Sync. Anyway, what I was getting to was this – I
would like to reward you for your many years of being a good Christian.”
“Reward?”
“Yes… I would like to give you a choice, Brian. You may remain here in Heaven with Me and the
other angels… or you may return to your life on Earth.”
Brian gasped. “What?! You mean… I can have my life back?! I can live again?!”
“If that is your will.”
Brian was about to answer, “Hells yeah!” but something stopped him
– the tinkling laughter of Angelica, as she and the other beautiful angels
splashed and played in the pool, tantalizing in their skimpy white bikinis,
which clung to their glistening, wet bodies.
Quickly pushing these not-so-angelic thoughts from his mind, he answered
truthfully, “I don’t know what to do, God.
I miss my family and my friends on Earth. But I have friends here too. How can I choose?”
“I’m afraid I cannot advise you, my son. This is your decision and yours alone. I will tell you this though – should you
choose to go back to Earth, as long as you continued to live a good, Christian
life, you will die again when the time is right and return here to Heaven, and
then you will be reunited with your acquaintances here.”
“Oh yeah… good point. Well,
screw that then, my decision’s made. I’m
going back to Earth!”
“Alrightie then. I will
give you the rest of the day to say your goodbyes. At midnight tonight, you will return to Earth
as a mortal being once again.”
“Whoo hoo! Thanks, God, you
da man!” Brian bid God farewell and
scurried back over to the others.
“What did God want, Brian?” Angelica asked curiously.
“Um… well… actually… it’s funny, really…”
“Don’t beat around the bush, Brian,” Angelica scolded. “What did he say?”
“Well… he kinda sorta offered to… givememylifeback.”
“To what?!”
“Give me my life back.”
“Wh-what does that mean?”
“Uh, what I said… it means I get my life back.”
“You mean… you won’t be dead anymore?”
“Yeah…”
“So you won’t be an angel anymore?”
“Yeah…”
“So you won’t be living here in Heaven anymore?”
“Yeah…”
“So you’ll be leaving me?”
“Uh, pretty much, yeah.”
Seeing the anguished look cross her face, he quickly added, “But,
Angelica, baby, you’ll always be in my heart.”
“That’s the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard!” Angelica
screamed, her halo falling askew. “I
hate you, Brian Littrell!”
“Ang-“ Brian started, but all of a sudden the cloudy ground
beneath Angelica’s feet parted, and a great tsunami of flames shot out of it
like a geyser, enveloping her. He heard
her scream and saw her fall through the ground inside the flames. There was a deep, satanic laugh and a chorus
of agonizing shrieks, and then, suddenly, Angelica was gone, and the ground had
closed once again, leaving a bare spot where she had once stood. Brian stared.
“What the-“
“Oh no, not another one!”
Brian turned to see that one of Angelica’s girl friends,
Angelique, had come up. “What just
happened?” he asked her with wide eyes.
“Angelica got sucked into Hell, it looks like. God’s really been cracking down on us
lately. I saw a guy get sent to Hell the
other day just for trying to tune into ‘American Idol’.”
“’American Idol’? Well,
what’s so bad-“
“He broke one of the Ten Commandments. You know, ‘You shall not make for yourself an
idol.’”
Brian’s eyes widened.
“Oh…” he said, making a mental
note to avoid watching “American Idol” when he returned to Earth. “Well, that sucks.”
If only he knew what was to come…
***
