Chapter
55
“Hey, babe. Did you
have fun shopping?” AJ asked, as Elyssa walked in the door.
Elyssa sighed and did not respond. She had told AJ that morning that she was
going shopping, not that she was going all the way to Tampa for a doctor’s
appointment.
“What’sa matter?” AJ asked, eyeing her warily. “Couldn’t find anything cute to buy?”
Elyssa glared at him in annoyance. “AJ, I didn’t go shopping,” she said, sinking
down heavily on the sofa in the living room.
“Oh? Where did you
go then?”
“To the doctor.”
AJ stared at her, raising an eyebrow in concern. “Why?” he asked, his voice very soft.
She sighed again and looked down at her hands, saying, “I
haven’t been feeling all that great, and I figured I should go get checked
out.”
“And?”
Elyssa struggled not to cry as she told him what the doctor
had told her. But by the time she was
done, the tears were streaming down her face, and his as well.
“Oh, Lyssa,” he murmured, pulling her into his arms. “Why did this have to happen? I thought you were over it. You seemed fine. I… I never thought it would happen
again.” His voice was choked sounding
with his tears.
“Neither did I,” she whispered, her face buried in his
shoulder. After a moment of silence,
she asked, “Oh, AJ, what are we doing to do?”
“You mean… about the baby, right?”
“Yes.”
AJ pulled her back from him so that he could see her
tearstained face. “What do you think?”
he asked.
“I want to have the baby.
I don’t want the radiation,” she answered.
He looked down, silent, for a moment. Then he looked back up. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Elyssa, this is your life we’re talking
about. The radiation might do the
trick. It might save your life. But if you don’t have it-“
“Then maybe the chemo will do it,” she replied coolly. “AJ, I want this baby. I could never have a treatment that would
kill it before it ever had a chance to live.”
She had begun to cry again.
“Shh, it’s okay,” AJ soothed, pulling her back into his
arms and rubbing her back. “If you want
to keep this baby and have the chemo instead, that’s fine.”
“You’re not mad?” she asked softly. She had a feeling that he would argue this,
insisting that she think about her own life verses her unborn baby’s. She knew that he felt she should have the
radiation, and she was expecting him to be more persistent. But he was not.
“No. It’s your life,
it’s your decision,” he replied simply.
“And whichever choice you make, I’ll support you. And Lyss, if you want to have a child, I’ll
be there for you every step of the way.”
She looked up and smiled tearfully. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He just flashed her a wavering smile. He was silent for a few minutes, and then he
looked back at her, smiled more brightly and said, “Elyssa, we’re going to be
parents.”
Elyssa’s grinned back, smiling genuinely for the first time
that day.
***
Two days
later
Before Elyssa knew it, the weekend was over, and she was on
her way back to Tampa, back to the hospital she had been diagnosed in. As she followed AJ to the admitting area of
the hospital, she was struck with a strong feeling of déjà vu. After all, it had been just the previous
summer when she had spent such a long time in that very hospital. Just thinking about that experience
depressed Elyssa. Would it be the same
this time? Maybe it would be even
worse.
“You need to fill out these forms, dear,” the old woman
behind the admitting desk said, handing Elyssa a clipboard with a pile of
papers attached to it. Elyssa bent over
and hurriedly started filling out the forms.
By the time she was finished, an orderly had come, wheeling
a wheelchair. “You ready to check into
your room?” he asked.
“Sure,” Elyssa mumbled, lowering herself into the
wheelchair with a sigh. AJ walked
belong side her as the orderly wheeled her to the all-too-familiar Oncology
Floor and into a private room at the end of one hallway.
“Here you go. You
know the drill,” the orderly said, handing Elyssa a hospital gown. Elyssa nodded, heading into the bathroom to
change. She emerged, holding the back
of her gown closed with one hand, and quickly got into bed, sinking beneath the
soft white cotton sheets.
“How are you feeling?” AJ asked, perching on the edge of
the bed.
“I’m fine,” Elyssa snapped irritably. AJ held up his hands in mock surrender, and
Elyssa sighed. “Sorry,” she said, her
tone softening. “It’s just that… well,
you know – I hate being treated like I’m sick.
I hate being asked how I’m feeling all the time. I may have a problem, but I’m not going to
just up and kick off on you. I feel
fine, okay? You don’t have to worry
about me 24/7.”
AJ rested his hand atop of hers. “I know,” he said gently. “I don’t mean to be overprotective. I’ll try to be better this time.”
“I know. It’s okay,”
she assured him, managing a tiny smile.
“I love you.”
AJ smiled in relief.
“I love you too,” he replied, and gave her a much needed hug.
***
