Episode 10: Catch Her If You Can
Part 10
“My bum is numb,” Nick whined. The animal under him whinnied in response as it slowly led the others across the rugged terrain, its head bowed against the wind that whipped between the mountains. Despite having traveled the world for the past few — he had lost the count of how many — days, Nick felt utterly bewildered by the abrupt change in scenery.
It must have been only a couple of hours since they had chased their felon across the Mediterranean Sea. Once they had landed on the south shores of Turkey, they finally had solid evidence that Tanja was fleeing to the heart of the country, somewhere called Cappadocia. After a quick helicopter ride from the seaside, they had managed to reach the outskirts of the Nevsehir province, which was home to the ancient town of Cappadocia. There, they had met up with Opal, Jay, and Leo.
And now, half an hour after they’d arrived in the province, they were trying to reach the ancient town on horseback. An avid ocean lover, Nick had taken an instant liking to the south shores of Turkey, with its little towns lined up along the Mediterranean coast and the smell of the warm sea air. But as he ventured deeper into the country, he was astonished by its natural beauty. Everything was the color of bronze and dust. Mountains, savannas, hills… everywhere he looked, he saw nothing but the brown earth and the blue sky above him. It was overwhelming but mesmerizing all the same, making him feel small against the grand landscape and the silence that surrounded them. Jay, Opal, and Leo were already ahead of them; he could still see them in the distance.
“Di?” he called, looking over his shoulder. He couldn’t really see her face under the abnormally large summer hat she wore, which resembled a small umbrella.
“What?!” she grumbled.
“My bum is numb,” he whined again.
“I’m gonna get wrinkles under this sun!” Diamond whined back.
“But my bum is really numb.”
“And what can I possibly do about it? I have my own problems to deal with here; this horse is too wild!”
Nick eyed the small black mare Diamond was riding. It was a rather old one, the tamest horse Nick had ever seen.
He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Di, I’ve seen hamsters wilder than that old horse.”
“Still!” Diamond whined. “What if it decides to throw me from its back?!”
“Di, sweet baby, that horse can’t even throw a fly from her back for the life of her.”
“Whatever.”
“I was thinking maybe a massage would make you feel better?” Nick suggested seductively.
“Ah, a massage would be heaven for me!”
“I can give you heaven, baby…”
“Spit it out, Nick,” Diamond giggled. “I know you’re planning something for your own benefit.”
“Well…” Nick said, drawing it out. “You know I’m pretty numb down there.”
“And?”
“It wouldn’t hurt if I got a massage for myself, too, you know,” Nick suggested, waggling his eyebrows. “A nice good pair of hands, easing my soreness…”
“Alright, enough, both of you!” Styx yelled from the very back of the line. “Jesus, you’re like a bunch of high school kids, high on hormones!”
“Don’t be jealous, Styx.”
“Why did the others stop?” Diamond piped up, pointing to somewhere in the distance. Nick looked at where she was pointing, but all he could make out were Jay, Opal, and Leo getting off their horses.
“Let’s pick up the pace,” he ordered.
Five minutes later, they had caught up with the rest of the team, just in time to see Leo shaking hands with a salesman.
“What’s going on?” Styx asked.
“Change of plans,” Jay answered. “It’ll take too long to reach our destination on horseback, so we’re splitting back into two teams. Three of us will travel in the hot air balloon right here…” He gestured behind Leo to show the huge basket that was attached to the balloon. “…and the rest of us will track it from the ground in the Jeep.”
“It was a good bargain to rent both,” Leo spoke up. “And a much faster one at that.”
“So, with that, we’ll keep an eye on our thief both from the land and from the air. Less chance of losing her that way. We’re hoping to catch her in Cappadocia’s famous rock houses.”
“Are we sure she’s there?” Styx questioned.
“Ninety percent.” Opal spoke for the first time. “The rock houses are hidden in the mountains, very secure and secluded. Perfect place for Tanja to keep all the stuff she stole. And the evidence led us directly to the ancient town. There’s not many places to run from there.”
“Diamond, Styx, and Nick, you’re going to track Tanja from the air,” Jay instructed. “Leo, Opal, and I will follow with the Jeep.”
“From the air? In a hot air balloon?!” Nick protested, his anxiety skyrocketing.
“At least your sexy bum won’t be numb anymore.” Diamond winked at him.
“Never thought I would prefer it to be numb,” Nick replied as he slid unwillingly off his horse. “How safe can a hot air balloon be?!”
***
As the hot air balloon soared through the sky, Nick kept his eyes shut tightly, his hands gripping the side of the basket so hard his knuckles turned white. He was jumpier than usual, gasping every time the balloon swayed.
Diamond and Styx shared concerned looks from opposite sides of the basket. Finally, Styx approached his mentor. “Dude,” he said, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder — a move which caused the blond to flinch with surprise. “You need to calm down.”
“Dude, I can’t. We’re, like, fifty miles above the ground in a freaking balloon, trying to chase down some crazy chick with a book fetish,” Nick said, eyes still mostly closed, “and I’m not as worried about the crazy chick as I am about the balloon. Tanja is so going down.” Nick groaned. “Oh shit, why did I have to say ‘going down…’?”
“Just… find your happy place, man. And get it together,” Styx advised, backing away. Nick could swear he heard Styx mutter something under his breath about how “pathetic” Nick was being, but he didn’t care. He just closed his eyes again and focused.
“Find a happy place,” he murmured, envisioning himself spending the night with Diamond in some expensive hotel room overlooking the ocean. Then he pictured himself on a private cruise in the middle of the Mediterranean with Pearl, just enjoying her company and the warm sea breeze. He imagined the swaying of the balloon was the swaying of the boat. It seemed to help. But just as his anxiety floated away, the basket began to rock uncontrollably, and he heard Diamond scream.
Nick’s eyes flew open just in time to see bullets whizzing past the balloon. The shooter was clearly too far away to aim properly — except for one bullet, which managed to pierce the heart of the balloon operator. As he slumped to the basket’s floor in a pool of blood, the three agents ducked down and looked each other over, silently checking to make sure everyone else was alright.
“Nick, you have to steer the balloon,” Diamond told him.
“Me?! Why me?!” Nick exclaimed.
“Because you’re already freaking out; let’s not make that ‘freaking out with a gun.’ You’re less likely to cause any damage just steering the damn balloon,” Styx chimed in, returning fire in the direction from which the bullets had come.
Diamond shot him a look. “Look, Nick, we’ll cover you, but someone has to steer this thing, and I really think it should be you,” she said, flashing Nick one of those smiles she used when she was trying to get her way. She must have sensed his remaining apprehensiveness because she leaned in closer to him. “After all, you’re such an experienced driver…”
“Yeah, I guess I a–” Nick began before Diamond interrupted him by pressing her lips to his. His muscles instantly relaxed, and his mind cleared. “What was that for?”
“For getting off your ass and steering the darn balloon,” Diamond told him before she, too, began to shoot back at whoever was firing at them.
Nick brushed off his coat, took a deep breath, and stood up to grab the control for the hot air balloon, cursing wildly as he attempted to steer it towards their destination. “SHIT! How the fuck am I supposed to figure out which of these makes it go higher and which makes it go lower — DAMN IT, that one makes it go lower!” Nick screamed, fumbling with the controls as gunshots reverberated through the air.
“GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!” Styx yelled as the balloon swayed slightly more than it had before. “Try to get us HIGHER so we have the advantage!”
“No fuckin’ kidding, Styx! I’m TRYING!” Nick yelled, pulling the other lever, which caused the balloon to climb higher in the air. Nick mumbled a string of curses under his breath as it did so.
And then, he heard the worst sound in the world to him at that very moment: a balloon deflating.
He looked up to see two gaping holes in the balloon where a bullet had ripped through it, and his stomach sank faster than the balloon. “HOLD ON; WE’RE GOING DOWN! OH, JESUS CHRIST, I DON’T WANNA DIE!” His arms dropped to the sides of the basket, frantically gripping them for dear life again.
Diamond crawled over to him and shook his shoulders vigorously while Styx continued to shoot at their attacker. “Nick. THIS. IS. NOT. HELPING. We ARE gonna die if you don’t help us think of something!” she told him as calmly as she could before turning around and firing a few more shots.
Nick nodded silently in reply, looking up at the torn balloon over their heads. He was instantly struck with an idea. “Going lower… We need to keep going lower!” he exclaimed and began to operate the controls, causing the balloon to continue sinking but at a steadier rate. Despite his sudden inspiration, Nick still felt panicked over their predicament. Was this how he would meet his death, trapped hundreds of feet in the air in a balloon that had a hole in it and was heading for the ground?
“Nick… are you sure about this?” Diamond asked him carefully, noting his current state of mind.
He shook his head furiously as he gripped the controls firmly with both hands, his eyes tightly shut. “Not really… but a quick death and a slow death are still death, right?”
“Guys, I think we might be okay…” Styx said, peering over the edge of the balloon. The gunshots seemed to have stopped; perhaps their assailant had given up when they saw the balloon falling. “We seem to be landing — or getting close to it.”
Diamond looked over the edge of the balloon as well, just to see for herself that they were descending safely. She turned to Nick, who still had his eyes closed. “Nick, he’s right; we’re not gonna die. You can open your eyes now.”
“You don’t know that. We could still crash,” Nick replied, his voice shaky.
“Man, we’re like, fifteen feet off the ground right now,” Styx told him.
“I could still fall out of the basket and land on my head, okay?!” Nick exclaimed.
“I’m starting to wonder if you’ve already fallen and landed on your head once in your lifetime,” Styx mumbled, still loud enough for Nick to hear. Nick lifted one eyelid open far enough to glare at Styx for a few seconds before quickly closing it again. He refused to move until the basket had officially landed and stopped moving.
Once the basket touched down, he hopped over the side and dropped to his knees. He bowed down to the ground and kissed it several times, spitting out the dirt he’d gotten in his mouth every time he arose. Styx tried to hide his amusement while Diamond shook her head.
“Okay, I am not kissing you anymore this trip until you’ve gargled with a whole bottle of mouthwash,” she told him sternly.
Nick finished his small ritual, praising whatever higher power had kept him from plummeting to his death, and stood up to face Diamond, his lips turning up into his infamous smile. “If you say so, but we both know you can’t resist me,” he responded with a wink.
Before Diamond could reply or Styx could complain about how nauseated he was with Diamond and Nick’s antics, three people on horseback rode up to them. As the riders got closer, they could see that it was Jay, Leo, and Opal, who looked surprised to see them.
“What the hell happened to you guys?” Jay asked after his horse came to a stop. He noticed that Nick looked incredibly shaken up. He made a mental note to ask Nick about this and possibly mock him for it later.
“Someone started shooting at us — I’m just gonna guess it was Tanja,” Diamond explained. “She not only killed our balloon operator but shot a hole through the balloon. So we had to do some quick thinking, and Nick saved the day.” Jay raised an eyebrow at the last part of Diamond’s story and glanced at Nick.
“The same thing happened to us. Holes in all four tires and only one spare. Can you believe it? We had to go back and get our horses.” Leo rubbed the back of his head. “Well, I suppose this means you’re riding with us, then?”
“I suppose so,” Diamond replied with a smile. “I call riding with Leo!” She smiled wide and walked over to Leo, who held out his hand and helped her up onto the horse with him. Nick glared as she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head on his shoulder. In the meantime, Styx walked over to Jay and asked if he could ride with him; Jay nodded and helped him up on the horse. That left Nick to ride with Opal, whom he grinned at as he walked towards her.
“Don’t get any funny ideas,” she warned him playfully as she helped him pull himself up onto the horse. “I wouldn’t want to have to tell Brian about this. You two have been doing so well.”
“We’re due for a good argument, Opal,” Nick replied with a waggle of his eyebrows, “but I wouldn’t stoop as low as putting the moves on his girl. So I promise I’ll be a good boy.” He held up his right hand. “Agent’s honor.”
“Alright, we all settled?” Jay asked as he looked around at everyone. They all nodded or otherwise replied in confirmation. “Okay, let’s go catch a book thief!”
***
Nick almost felt like he’d been thrown back into time. Like he was in the Old West, chasing down some outlaw. He grinned. He would have been a great sheriff. Like John Wayne. Or some other famous western actor he couldn’t think of.
The image floated in front of his eyes: Him in a cowboy hat and cool boots with stirrups, blowing off the barrel of his gun. Pearl, Red, and Diamond running up to celebrate in those old dresses that really showed off the ladies’ upper assets. They’d swoon over his heroism. Diamond would run her hand along his cheek as she stared up at him adoringly. Him, the center of her attention. Of Pearl’s attention. The only man Red could focus on. Any other wannabes were forgotten.
“Oh, Nick… you’re my hero!”
“NICK!”
His brow furrowed.
“Nick, you’re so brave!”
“NICK! Pay attention!” Opal’s voice yelled in his ear, snapping him immediately back to reality. He yanked on the reins, narrowly avoiding a collision with Lame-onardo Di-Crapio, who was now shooting him a dirty look. Diamond held on to him even more closely, causing Nick’s jaw to clench a little tighter. Oblivious to it all, Jay led the way with Styx looking distinctly uncomfortable.
“Just up ahead should be the caves!”
Nick grinned. As sad as it would be to see the end of his taunting the FBI, he’d be glad to stop globetrotting for a bit. To go home and relax for a few nights. What day was it, anyway? How long had they been on this mission? He wasn’t even sure anymore. He’d been through so many countries and so many time zones that time had become a blurry mess.
Finally, the six of them reached their destination. Nick hopped off the horse first, looking succinctly proud of himself for landing on his feet. He reached up towards Opal, who looked adorable in that out-of-character way, with her bubblegum pink hair and punk outfit. He took her hand and carefully helped her down.
She smiled. “I’ll be glad when this is all over, but I’ve had fun traveling around with you guys. We don’t give you enough credit.”
Nick smirked. “It’s okay. We save the world… and everyone else gets the glory.” He shrugged nonchalantly as he checked his guns to make sure they were loaded. “I’m used to it.”
Once everyone was on the ground and ready to go, they followed Jay along the rocky walls. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on them without mercy. Nick wiped his brow, feeling the adrenaline rush in. At that moment, his watch beeped. Leo rolled his eyes, and Nick shrugged.
What am I supposed to do, tell Pearl to put my damn watch on silent? He turned on the screen to see the young scientist in question. “Pearly… I love ya, but we’re kinda busy.”
“Just a heads up: Feds are closing in. So make it happen, or you’ll be the one who ends up in custody, Blondie. And I’m so not up to breaking the news to our fearless leader. He’d have a brand new hernia, thanks to you.”
The screen went black, and Nick tuned back in to what was going on around him. The others chattered in tense conversation. While this was their livelihood, they couldn’t help getting nervous during dangerous missions.
“Who was that?” Jay asked.
“Pearl. We have a time limit; the FBI is finally catching up.”
“Okay, so here’s how it’s gonna go down. We go in two by two. Carter, you and I go in first, and keep it quiet. At my signal, Vitruvian, you and Di…”
“What’s the signal?” Diamond asked, inspecting her nails thoughtfully.
Jay smiled as he titled down his shades so that their eyes met. “Trust me, you’ll know.” He turned to Nick’s shadow agent. “Styx, I want you to stay out here and keep Opal safe.”
Fury and indignation flooded the newbie’s face. “Are you kidding me?!”
Nick turned around before his own superior could. “He’s not kidding. That’s vital, and if one hair on her head gets harmed… you’re not gonna like me. You got that?”
Styx stepped back, nodding, but said nothing.
“Alright, let’s move.”
As Jay entered the mouth of the cave, Nick quickly followed, holding his gun at the ready as they walked down the winding, narrow path. The light grew dimmer and dimmer as they got further away from the entrance. Finally, Jay gently touched the corner of his sunglasses, turning on a tiny red light that cast an eerie glow across the rock walls. The two agents made their way deeper into the cave, moving as quietly as they could. Neither knew where their path would lead or where it would end. All they knew was that their crook was somewhere down here, and this was the only way to catch her.
Suddenly, Nick tripped over a stone and stumbled forward. “Gah!”
“Jesus, Carter, put your night vision shades on…”
“I might’ve forgotten them in France.”
“Are you kidding me?” Jay hissed as the tunnel angled downward.
“Hey, if we’d just listened to me in the first place, I would’ve never been in France, and we would’ve had the crook by now!”
“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”
“No! You trusted a new Double-0 over me. That hurts, Jay! It’s like my instincts don’t matter. I mean, fuck, take me off the mission if you really don’t trust me,” Nick replied angrily. It had been bugging him ever since the whole France incident, especially when he’d later learned Di-Crapio had been flirting with the crook in question.
“This ain’t the time for this.”
“Fine, whatever. Let’s just catch this chick and move on — ahhhhh!” he wailed as he tripped yet again. This time he fell on top of Jay. The two of them rolled down the rest of the way, landing right in front of a little room. It was cozy, with oriental rugs covering the ground and flickering lanterns hanging along the walls.
Looking around, Nick spotted a young, blonde woman sitting in a beanbag chair, surrounded by the books that she had stolen from around the world. Her red trench coat hung from a protruding stone. “Tanja Copenhagen!” he cried, scrambling to his feet.
Tanja glanced up calmly at her two new guests. “Gentlemen, gentlemen… please be careful; these books are priceless gems,” she said as she rose from her seat. “I realize you’re here for me, but please, take care.” She held out her hands as Jay approached her with his handcuffs.
Nick sighed. Well, this wasn’t fun at all, he thought, watching Jay secure the cuffs around her wrists. What’s the point of chasing someone around the fucking world if they don’t even put up a fight at the end?
Tanja sat quietly on the ground while they waited for Diamond and Leo to catch up. As Jay called headquarters to let K know they’d caught the culprit, Nick took a look at her collection. A black, leather-bound book caught his eye, and he bent down to pick it up.
However, before Nick could open the book, his watch beeped yet again before the screen flickered to life. Pearl’s face appeared, smiling at him like always. He was just happy it was Pearl. Between K and… others, he was starting to wish his watch had a private number.
“Just talked to Vitruvian…” Pearl began.
“Can we not call him that?”
She ignored him. “They just heard from Agent Hank and Agent Tom, who should be arriving at your little hidey-hole any moment. So… if you want to look at a certain book…” Her eyes lit up with that impish gleam he always enjoyed. “…and push the blue button as you turn through the pages so that they scan into my database… I’d do it now.” The screen went black.
“Be careful with that book!” Tanja implored as if it was her firstborn child rather than something she had stolen.
He opened the book, and his eyes widened. “Holy shitballs…”
He did as Pearl had asked. Page after page. He didn’t have time to read them all, only to skim the titles at the top of the pages. There were so many secrets, so many things he’d suspected about historical events. This book covered them all. He was going to have a field day in the lab later.
Finally, something really caught his eye, and he had to stop. He had to read this right then and there. This was something he’d always wanted to know. And what if it didn’t scan right or didn’t send? He couldn’t risk not knowing… not when he had the answer in his hands.
Nick read the title again. September 11, 2001.
It was a day no one would forget. How could they? His eyes ran over the page, widening at every bit of new information. If any of this got out, it would cause a total uproar throughout the country. This information could change everything. As for Nick, all it did was confirm the suspicions he’d had for a long time.
“I knew it!”
***