Episode 10: Catch Her If You Can
Part 3
“So, why are we splitting up for this? Why can’t we all just go together?” Nick asked — not that he wanted to go with everyone, but there had to be some reason they were dividing up.
“Here’s the thing: There have been other thefts of priceless books in China, Australia, and Peru. We’re beginning to think they’re connected,” K explained. “We need to go to the places the books have been stolen from and see if we can find any clues as to who’s doing this and why. I want you all to go down to Pearl’s lab; you’ll find out there why we‘re separating you all into teams.”
“You can’t just tell us now?” Nick whined impatiently.
K blanched but quickly covered it with a stern frown. “Go to Pearl’s lab, Carter. And quit whining; you’re acting like a child.”
Nick rolled his eyes and followed the others out of the room. They filed into the lab and crowded around Pearl and the computer monitors.
“What do you have for us, Pearl?” Jay asked, leaning in close to the screen.
“Well, I was able to get into the FBI’s database, lousy security and all…” Pearl started.
Nick smirked. “It’s a wonder they’re able to keep anything a secret.”
Pearl grinned before turning back to the monitor. She opened a few folders and pulled up a passage of text.
Jay squinted at the writing. “What’s that?”
“It’s some kind of clue that the FBI found inside the National Library.”
They all leaned in closer, looking at the writing.
HRYTONAHARA AT,L RPOKARAGAAN,SOLL IEANITARA OINC OTA,A AG-SASNA OA OTAD ALSRI. ‘BCNCMMRSNFÈNCII A A MC -TAHD ‘PINELADRHDS GSDR I HIED AR’ UGENBN AHARAU RÒGC ULARCAIGACRI ELC.AR INDD I ”IE EGIHO I ULIN AI EUL ER I ‘ADOAHBIEG ‘TIHÒD I ‘DRSD RSACO-HÀD A ÒA U A I HI UMRMRIDIIHASEC OA ENTAT OCAA,AU AAARDERAHHRYSLIHA ONCBSI GSEDESAHASI I HRN ‘HOSBAAH
Nick frowned. “What the hell is that?”
“No idea. I’m not sure if it’s trying to tell them something or if it’s just something random to throw them off. Though I can’t imagine it’s just random… you don’t write something out in a different language or code or whatever this is without trying to make some kind of point. It looks, though, like the FBI are trying to connect it back to you, Opal, because there’s no prints or DNA evidence or anything,” Pearl finished, looking over at Opal. “Do you recognize that language?”
Opal rubbed her forehead for a moment before shaking her head. “It’s not a language. It’s definitely a code; the letters are rearranged. I should be able to break it, but it’s going to take time.”
Pearl nodded her head. “So… that’s why you guys are splitting up. We need one group to find out if there are more clues and the other group to check out the crime scenes in other countries. We can try to get everything taken care of faster with two groups instead of one large group investigating one lead at a time.”
Everyone nodded and started chatting amongst themselves.
“We’ve got Opal, so we’ll work on the clues,” Jay decided. “Opal, how long you think it’ll take to crack it?”
“It’s hard to say,” replied Opal. “It’s a matter of finding the right key to the code. And even once we decipher what it says, we still may not know what it means.”
“Well, then I have a thought. K mentioned three other countries where similar crimes have been committed — China, Australia, and Peru. Maybe we should both start investigating the crime scenes until Opal can crack this thing. We may find more evidence that will help.”
“We’ll go Down Under,” Nick immediately volunteered. He winked at Styx. “Good surfin’, mate!”
“Then we’ll start in China,” said Jay. “I’ve always wanted to get an authentic Chinese character tattooed…” he added, patting his arm. “You never can tell if they really mean what the tattoo artists here tell you they mean.”
“Roll up your sleeve; let me see,” said Opal. Jay pushed back his sleeve to expose his right forearm. She took a minute to study the three Chinese characters inked there. “It looks like… ‘crazy bear’?” She raised her eyebrows at Jay. “Is that what you wanted it to say?”
He nodded. “Yep, that sounds right. Good to know.”
“Why…?” Opal started to ask, but Jay cut her off.
“Everyone get ready; we leave tomorrow. Nick and Opal, will you stay behind a sec, please?”
As everyone else filed out, Nick and Opal looked at each other and then over at Jay. “What’s up, Jay?”
“We need to get you two in disguise. Opal, I’ll take care of your look, and Nick, I’ve recruited someone special for you…”
Just then, Lancy walked in.
“Oh no…” Nick moaned.
“He was the first one to volunteer, Nick. He’s assured me he’s good with this kind of thing. Besides, we need you to look totally different than how you normally do. Just go with it. Plus, it‘ll be easier for me to have someone to help; it‘ll take too long if I have to take care of both of you.”
Lancy grinned. “I’m gonna work wonders on you, Nick. I’ve got so many fabulous ideas and so many different things we can try. Just look at all the stuff I brought!”
Nick sighed heavily, glaring at Jay.
“Feel free to use whatever you’d like, Jay. What’s mine is yours…” Lancy smiled.
“Thank you, Lancybassy; appreciate it,” Jay stated, motioning for Opal to sit in one of the chairs as he looked through his beauty supplies.
“Uh, Jay, do you know what you’re doing?” Opal asked uneasily as she watched him pick up a box of hair dye.
“Absolutely. It’s one of my many hidden talents,” Jay explained, holding the box up against her face to see how the color would go with her complexion.
“Nick, honey, you sit right there. We’re going to start with a nice facial scrub and exfoliation, and from there, we’ll do your hair and clothes and… ohh, I’m so excited!” Lancy exclaimed.
Nick’s eyes widened. He looked over at Opal, mouthing the words “Help me!” She winced, standing, as Jay pulled her out of the chair and into the bathroom. He turned to look at Lancy, who was once again staring at him as if he were a grade A steak.
Lancy went to work on him at once, scrubbing, buffing, and polishing. When he finished, Nick’s face felt surprisingly smooth and soft, which was a dramatic improvement from how it normally felt.
“Oh, you just look too good not to keep this up! I think we should schedule monthly — no, weekly visits. I can come over to your dorm for a full facial treatment. We can do a facial peel and eventually work into a body peel and…” Lancy practically squealed, his eyes shining.
Nick shook his head vehemently. “No, no, that’s okay.”
“Aww, pretty please? With whipped cream on top?”
“It’s fine, really.”
“Well… at least promise me you’ll keep it up on your own, and if you ever need help, or if you have questions, call me!” Lancy pleaded, licking his lips.
“Uh, sure. Whatever you say,” Nick stated, shifting in his chair.
Lancy sighed. “It’ll have to do. We’ll get started on the hair. Come on, into the bathroom.”
“What about my hair?”
“We’re going to change it, of course. Anyone would recognize those luscious locks. I’m just gonna give you a bit of a change, honey, darken it up a bit, frost the tips. You’ll still be the man we all know and… love, of course — just a different you. A newer you. A… mmm… greater you.”
Nick cleared his throat. “Is this all really necessary?”
“Absolutely, sweetie. You just trust Mr. Lancybassy. You’re gonna look like a billion bucks.”
Nick smiled weakly. “I think it’s a million bucks. I’ll look like a million bucks.”
“Oh, no, no, you already do. I’m just taking it to another level.” Lancy winked.
Nick sighed.
***
An hour later, Nick emerged from the bathroom. His hair had been colored brown with blond tips, and he wore green contacts over his blue eyes. He looked at his clothes; some awful skinny jeans with a salmon-colored shirt and blue tie completed the ensemble. It looked nice, but it so wasn’t his style. He adjusted the fake glasses on his nose and turned to look at Lancy.
“You look FAB-U-LOUS!” trilled Lancy, doing jazz hands. “They say clothes make the man, but honey, they haven’t seen you!”
Nick nodded. “Yeah… uh, thanks, Lancy.”
“I knew that carnation pink shirt would look great on you!”
“Actually, it’s not pink; it’s salmon.”
“Well, well, look at you, Nick.” Jay smiled, making his way out of the women’s bathroom.
Nick glared at him.
“I like the hair, I have to say, and the clothes… well, it looks like you just stepped off the runway.” Jay nodded his approval.
Lancy beamed and clapped his hands. “He does, doesn’t he? I thought I’d go for something a bit more modern… more hip. He really does look great.”
“It takes a real man to wear pink, ya know,” Jay chuckled.
“It’s not pink! It’s salmon,” Nick growled.
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, man.” Jay laughed.
“Anyway… where’s Opal?”
“Right here,” she said, making her way out of the bathroom behind Jay.
Nick’s eyes widened. “Whoa!”
Her dark brown hair had been lightened to golden blonde and swept up into a simple yet elegant bun. Her exotic green eyes were now blue. Dressed in a pencil skirt and blouse, she looked like a lawyer — the kind of lawyer who made you want to file a lawsuit just to seek her representation.
“Wow, you look great,” Nick sighed.
She smiled. “Well, thanks. It’s not me, but for now, it’ll have to do. You don’t look too bad yourself; I really like the pink shirt.”
Nick frowned. “It’s not pink; it’s… ya know what? Never mind.”
***
Jay was tired and desperately wanted to be done with this interview so he could get back to the hotel and finally get some rest. It seemed days ago that K had assigned the groups, and Lancy had put Nick in that ridiculous pink shirt. The three-hour flight to New York followed by a fourteen-hour flight to Beijing had not made things easier.
Leaning his head forward, Jay rubbed the back of his neck and sighed in frustration. He had lost count somewhere along the way, but he was sure this was quite possibly the thirtieth interview he’d conducted. Whoever this thief was, they were ballsy enough to steal an item from a heavily populated building, and it seemed everyone wanted to give their version of what had happened.
“What did you see?” Leo asked. Jay was surprised at how relaxed and undeterred he seemed after hours of interviews.
“I don’t know if it’s any help, but I saw a woman sneaking around doors marked ‘personnel only.’” Jay sat up straighter, surprised to hear his interviewee speak with an American accent. “I brought my Nai Nai here to work out some governmental problems she was having with the location…”
“Sir, I hate to interrupt, but can we get back to the woman?” Jay interrupted, anxious to get something from this person that might actually be useful.
“Sure. She was wearing a red trench coat and a wide-brimmed hat. The bright color made her stand out to me, but I also thought it was strange since, you know, the weather here is very balmy, and she was inside — everyone else removed their hat when they passed through the doors, but not her.”
“That’s all you can tell us?”
“I watched her go through a door and then appear maybe fifteen minutes later from the same door. Her trench coat appeared to be bulging this time. I would have said something, but our number was called, and my Nai Nai was moving towards the entrance.” The man folded his fingers together and sat looking at the two agents. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”
Jay nodded and pulled out his laptop as Leo dismissed the man. “Well, that was the most information we got all day, and it was next to nothing.” Leo groaned as he watched Jay log onto the video conference feed with K and Nick. He hoped that Nick would have more to bring to the table with his investigation in Australia.
“What were you able to determine, 003?” K’s voice echoed through the interview room they’d been allotted at the National Library of China in Beijing, from which the most complete surviving copy of the Yongle Encyclopedia had been stolen. Written during the Ming Dynasty in the 1400s, it had been one of the earliest and the largest general encyclopedias.
Still, tired and irritable, Jay couldn’t help but wonder, What would the thief want with an old encyclopedia written in Chinese? Out loud, he answered, “The only viable description of the thief we received has her looking like Carmen Sandiego.”
“Well then, be on the lookout for V.I.L.E. henchmen, and make sure your Almanac is up-to-date,” Nick joked.
“Were you able to ascertain anything different, 008?” K said, not missing a beat, unaware of the “joke” Nick had made.
Nick, who had started humming the all-too-familiar “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” theme, cleared his throat and answered, “Jay got more information with his Carmen Sandiego look-alike than I was able to get. Nobody saw anything. In fact, nobody knew they were missing for quite some time as it appears our thief swapped the originals for copies. It wasn’t until the Archbishop of Sydney, George Pell, came through with a group of students from the seminary that they were identified as fakes. We have no clue how long the originals have been missing.”
“What’s going on with the investigation into Opal?” Leo asked, unable to keep silent any longer.
“It’s still going strong. My sources tell me they’ve been investigating every location she’d been assigned to and checking her travel log with the timeline of events as they know them.”
“Have I been named a suspect yet, or am I still just a person of interest?” Nick asked with a smirk on his face, obviously pleased that the United States government was inept at even figuring out what to classify him as.
“Be thankful they’re not more suspicious, 008. Last thing we need is government agents trying to delve into the secrets of HimTak. If some of our clients found that out, we would no longer be in business.”
Jay nodded in agreement. “How’s Brian holding up?”
“He’s doing everything he can to keep himself busy and his mind off of Opal. There isn’t much he can do since the Feds don’t want him to get involved. The CIA is actually cooperating and put him on a pretty lowbrow case, which is not getting his full attention. He’s distracted.”
“I can imagine.”
“See what else you can discover. Maybe Opal has deciphered the code. I’ll keep you informed of any changes on this end. Contact me if you make any progress.” With that, K signed off.
“He didn’t even say goodbye.” Nick sniffed.
“Goodbye, Nick.” Jay smiled and severed the connection.
“We should get back. It’s late, and I doubt the Chinese government will be willing to let us poke around in the bowels of the library all night.” Jay stood up, grabbed the laptop, and cuffed Leo’s shoulder.
It wasn’t a long trip back to the hotel, but Leo wanted to stop for some food. Jay couldn’t argue; he was hungry, too, and he was sure Opal would be thankful. Bogged down with food cartons, Leo almost dropped their dinner when he felt his phone vibrate in his pants. Juggling the items carefully, he was able to pull his phone out and flip it open.
“Hello?” he asked, unsure of who could be calling him now.
“Leo, I got it!” a woman’s voice screeched into the phone.
“Opal?” Leo asked. “What are you…”
“I figured out part of the clue!” she interrupted, too excited to wait for Leo to finish his sentence. “It’s a code, of course, but every code-breaking technique I employed only came up with gibberish. Well, I was staring at it with some movie on the TV playing for background noise when I looked up to see what was going on and noticed the subtitles were on in Chinese!” She paused, expecting Leo to understand where she was going with this. “It hit me — the clue is in another language and encoded! Now that I’ve figured that out, it’s just a simple matter of solving the code and seeing if the words make sense in any language spoken.” Opal sighed, pleased with herself.
“Opal, that’s great, but you used your cell phone?”
“Well, of course; the hotel phone would charge long distance.”
“Opal, your cell…”
“…is being tracked… shit.”
***
The J. Edgar Hoover building was just starting to buzz with activity, but the two FBI agents working on the Ashavari Desai case had pulled an all-nighter.
They were desperately trying to catch a lead, afraid to go to their superior to tell him that any trace of the wanted woman had gone cold after they’d visited Brian Littrell’s residence. For a while, they’d thought they had a hot streak and would catch her in only a matter of time, but as the hours wore on, they started grasping at straws.
“I still think we need to investigate that Carter kid.” The man wearing a military-style haircut looked up and over at the man lounging back in his chair with his fedora hat over his eyes. “Hank!” the man yelled out.
“What?” The other man stretched, allowing the hat to fall to the floor.
“I said I think we need to investigate that Carter kid.” The Boston accent in his voice was apparent as he spoke. “I get the feeling he’s hiding something.”
“Tom, you think everyone is hiding something.” Hank rubbed his nose and searched his desk for a coffee cup with any of the caffeinated liquid left inside.
“…they really scraped the bottom of the barrel…” Tom mumbled to himself.
“What was that?” Hank asked.
Tom did not answer. Instead, he busied himself punching something into his computer and focusing on that. Hank shrugged and went to the coffee maker, grabbing another cup and a jelly doughnut. He took a bite, dripping red jelly down his front. “Damn…” he muttered as he wiped at it pointlessly with his napkin.
“Shit, I don’t believe this.” Tom stared at his screen. “Gotcha!” He sat back and punched more keys on his keyboard.
“What?” Hank asked, mouth full of doughnut.
“I got a hit on her cell phone GPS. The gal must have turned it on and, even better, used it without thinking. We got a hit.” His fingers furiously flew across the keyboard, honing in on the location of the cell tower that had caught the signal used by Ashavari’s phone. Hank watched as Tom’s face moved from stoic to slightly less so; it must have been good.
“I hope you have an overnight bag packed, Hank. Grab your passport; we’re headed to China.” Tom stood, grabbing the coat off the back of his chair and making his way to the exit. Hank continued to sit in disbelief that he was being asked to give up his doughnut and coffee this early to go to China, of all places. Sensing his hesitation, Tom turned back to the man assigned to work with him. “They do have coffee at the airport.”
Groaning, Hank stood and followed Tom out of the office, knowing he was going to regret the actions that had led him to be assigned this case.
***
Leo walked through the hotel’s lobby with a paper bag in his arms, holding the take-out dinner that he, Jay, and Opal had ordered. He looked closely at every person he passed by, careful not to draw any attention to himself but still observant enough to watch out for any threats. He stopped in his tracks as he heard some familiar words — although in a mostly foreign language to him.
“Excuse me, miss, but we’re with the United States government,” a man’s voice said in broken Mandarin to the young woman at the reception desk Leo was in the midst of passing. He calmly and quickly walked over to the closest of the large decorative columns and hid behind it, still listening in on the conversation. Leo silently praised himself for at least beginning to learn Mandarin Chinese, the only knowledge that helped him discern the words “United States Government” from the man’s introduction.
“Hello, sir, how may I help you?” the girl replied courteously with much smoother pronunciation.
“Have you seen this woman?” the man asked, and Leo could tell he was showing the girl a picture of Opal.
“No, sir, no girl like that has been here,” the girl answered.
The men sighed, and Leo took this opportunity to pull out his cell phone and call Jay.
“Jay here,” the agent answered.
“It’s Leo. The Feds are here; they’re asking at the front desk about Opal.”
“Shit!” Jay muttered, and Leo heard Opal’s voice in the background asking what was going on. “How did they get here so quickly?”
“My guess is they’re field agents,” Leo replied, still watching the agents out of the corner of his eye. They seemed to be asking the girl to search the guest database for recent check-ins, with very limited success. “The FBI has offices all over the world. All the U.S. office would need to do is make a call, and the field office could send someone out right away.”
“So, what’s our escape plan gonna be?”
“I wouldn’t recommend coming down here right now. There’s one guy at the front desk, and I think there’s another one going around asking guests if they’ve seen anything. Not sure how many others could be around here.”
“Damn it,” Jay cursed under his breath again before a solution struck him. “I think I have an idea how to get rid of them. Just meet us outside and keep an eye out. We’ll meet you there just after the agents leave.”
“How are you gonna–?”
“Just trust me. We don’t have many options, and this one has the best chance of working. We’ll be there.”
“Okay…” Leo replied uneasily. “See you in a few.” He waited until Jay hung up and then casually exited the lobby, keeping a keen eye out for any sign of his traveling companions.
***
Meanwhile, up in the hotel room, Jay filled Opal in on the details she missed while he pulled the bedspread off the bed and fashioned it into a disguise. Opal watched in amazement as he wrapped it around her, ripping off pieces that were just the right size and tying them in just the right spots. When he was done, she appeared to be wearing a kimono, and after rummaging through the bathroom, he was able to find the supplies he needed to decorate her face to make her look like a geisha. Jay then guided her to the bed, just in time for someone to knock impatiently at the door.
“Kinda busy in here!” Jay called, whispering a stage direction in Opal’s ear quickly, so as not to spook her too much when he climbed on top of her. Moments later, the door burst open. Two men in suits stood in the doorway. “Jeez, can’t you guys wait a few minutes?!”
“What’s going on in here?” one of the two men asked, startled.
“Isn’t it a bit obvious?” Jay replied with a nod at Opal, who widened her eyes to silently express her surprise. “Look, unless my watch is broken or something, would you guys mind clearing out? I paid her upfront for the hour, and my time is almost up. Can you at least let a fella finish?”
The men looked at each other and exchanged annoyed looks. “Sorry, sir. Um, enjoy your… entertainment,” the second of the two men said as they each tipped their hats and left the room.
“Believe me, I will!” Jay called, waiting until the door clicked shut behind them and he estimated they were at least halfway down the hall before he quickly jumped off the bed, causing it to bounce a bit.
Opal giggled in amusement as she carefully removed the makeshift kimono. She laid it out on the bed and admired it for a few moments. “Remind me to call on you the next time I have a wardrobe emergency…” she remarked with a smirk.
“Happy to help, doll,” he told her, pulling back the curtains on the large window and grunting as he struggled to slide the window open. “But right now, I could use a hand so we can escape before they figure us out.”
***
As they walked down the hall to return to the lobby and resume their line of questioning at the front desk, the FBI agents laughed at the awkward situation they had just found themselves in.
“But hey, man, that geisha was quite a pretty one. Wonder where he found her…” the agent in the brown hat commented. He gave his partner a confused look as he abruptly stopped before getting into the elevator that had just opened in front of them.
“Yeah, me too… since we’re in China, and geishas are from Japan…” he said slowly as the agents turned to face each other for a moment before tearing down the hall, nearly passing the door they needed before they stopped and kicked it open.
They sighed as they saw the wind blowing the curtain. The window was open, the kimono was on the bed, and the couple they’d had in their grasp for the briefest of moments was gone.
***
Opal thanked Leo as he helped steady her once she and Jay had reached the ground. Jay was thankful he’d been wearing his leather grappling hook belt, which he had used to help himself and Opal repel down the face of the building quickly. There was some kind of festival happening in the city, and with a parade going on in the street below, no one had noticed the people practically climbing down the side of a large hotel.
“Well, aren’t you just full of fashionable surprises,” Opal complimented Jay.
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t be prepared and look sexy at the same time,” Jay said with a wink.
“That’s great, but I think we better find ourselves some new disguises or a fast way to get out of here before we get caught,” Leo advised. The trio looked around frantically for any sign of a cab or bus that they could sneak onto and make their great escape, but to no avail — traffic was blocked due to the parade. Then Opal spotted something right before her very eyes that was perfect.
“Boys, I think I’ve solved both of our problems…” She grinned as she pointed at the long dragon puppet dancing down the street, at least a dozen pairs of legs peeking out underneath it as the performers walked it through the parade. They chuckled as she pulled them along, waiting until the perfect moment to slide under the creature and use it to march along to safety.
***