Episode 2: Idolize Me
Part 2
Pearl smirked as she sat next to her controls. She had upgraded the car herself, so Nick should have known she could control it from her own database.
A retractable projector screen hung from a slot in the ceiling and blocked one entire wall. While sitting next to Pearl, Jay monitored the dozens of images showing various exotic locales or rooms around Himitsu Takana’s headquarters. Side-by-side, the largest two images displayed Nick and Diamond’s reunion at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino. One jumped around between the car, the ground, and Diamond laughing. The other focused on Nick getting riled up, which clearly amused Jay as he roared in laughter and clutched his sides.
Nick angrily tried to figure out how to talk to Pearl through his watch. “Damn it, Pearl!” he exclaimed again when he finally got the thing to work.
Pearl jumped at the sudden shouting in her ear before she pulled up the feed from his watch on the large screen and touched a button on her headset, allowing her to speak. “No need to yell, dear. Just my payback for the last little gift you left me during your hiatus. You really thought I wasn’t going to get you for that? I never forget, Blondie.”
“I’m gonna get you back!” He tilted the little camera towards his face, though one would never suspect it was a camera. He stuck his tongue out at it, and Pearl giggled.
“Can’t wait for it. And don’t you have a mission? I’d rather not see a porno, so try not to seduce Diamond out of doing the mission.”
Jay snickered as he turned from the sunglasses he was looking over. “Diamond I wouldn’t mind, but no amount of money would ever get me to look at 008’s ass willingly.”
“00Carter!” Nick cried out, annoyed.
Jay flinched back in his seat, then blinked several times.
“Get going on your mission. Oh, and don’t forget your underwear,” Pearl replied simply, making a robotic crane come out of the car, taking the underwear from Diamond’s hands and tossing them into Nick’s. Diamond’s blonde hair bounced as she laughed loudly at Nick’s pouting and now annoyed face. Pearl chuckled along with Jay as the crane went back inside the trunk, the hood of it shutting as if nothing happened. “And read the guide to the car – I know you haven’t. It’ll explain the toxins and everything else in the trunk you’re confused about. And how to use the cool toys in the car I didn’t mention. Hop to it, Blondie.”
“Fine, but I’m still gonna get you, Pearly.”
“Looking forward to it.” She pressed the button on her headset once more so Nick couldn’t hear what she said and turned to Jay as Nick and Diamond headed into the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino on the screen.
Though the tattooed man’s wide grin reflected his enjoyment, he had obviously come down to check on Nick; he’d known Pearl would be keeping a close eye on him. Pearl was used to higher agents coming down to watch the trace cameras, but it was typically K or Grasshopper. This time, Jay had wanted to and already figured she would as well. Himitsu Takana, like any agency, kept track of its agents. Tiny audio recorders and cameras were placed on every agent, with Pearl’s own personal touch, of course. Today’s bugs, for instance, were hidden in the tiny diamond pendant on Diamond’s necklace and one of the zipper pulls on the chest of Nick’s jacket — he always refused to let her add tech to his jewelry for missions. Although, this was Nick’s first mission since…
Pearl, you gotta help me… please… god… Kitana, I got no one else to go to!
She shook the thought away. Because of that, she and Jay obviously wanted to keep an eye on things.
Jay’s snickering brought her back to the laboratory. “That was classic.”
“As much as I work, I can afford a little fun,” she mused. She and Nick had a history of pulling jokes on each other. They were always careful not to endanger any missions, though. Otherwise, K would have their heads on a platter.
It had started when Nick used to prank her during training, so she’d made sure he would be stuck deciphering 004 speak as Pearl watched, laughing. Since then, they’d had a mischief war between them. The pranks were part of their friendship.
“You should have seen him in his car earlier, Jay. I had it on just in case, but I was busy and distracted from it, ’cause I was working on this new automatic bra–”
He smirked as he tilted his sunglasses down to look at her. “Automatic bra?”
“As in, automatic machine gun, a small one that can fire from the bra. Secret agents… secret weapons.”
“I want to be around when Diamond uses it.”
“What makes you think I’m making it for Diamond?” She pushed a curly lock away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.
“Seems like her kind of weapon.”
“Could be for Red.”
“You already made her two specialized weapons.”
“Could be for Emerald.”
“Nah, she doesn’t like stripping unless she’s alone with a guy,” Pearl replied with a knowing smirk. “Besides, she has the sleeping gas bra. Still, don’t assume.”
Jay just laughed. “You could give it to Shazam…”
“He can barely handle himself, much less a woman to wear it. Though…” She grinned. “…It would be fun to see him crossdress just so he could have an armed weapon.”
It was pretty well-known that easygoing Professor Pearl, who could get along with almost anyone, had little or no patience for JC. She and Nick had that in common, and Jay would always watch the rare times the three of them had a mission. He was just waiting for the day Pearl would use one of her devices to teach him not to try and tell her how to make her gadgets.
“I’d pay to see that. You’re too professional to give it to him. What you do to Nick is one thing; K would burst a vein if you did that to JC.”
“Could be for me.”
Jay laughed loudly and fiercely, his face beginning to turn red. “Like you’d wear that! You’re too…”
Professor Pearl gave him a look, and he chuckled, regaining his composure quickly. One should never mess with the one who made your weapons. “Sorry, continue.”
“I was working on it and wasn’t paying attention, ’til I heard Nick cursing like no tomorrow.” She snickered. “Maybe I should have told him I tweaked his car’s iPod just a bit. He battled the thing ’cause I programmed it to not skip songs every time it played Mambo #5. And of course I had it play more than once.”
“Evil.”
“Nah, I just imitate it well.”
“You think he can handle this, right?”
A nod. “Of course…”
“But you’re watching ’cause you’re worried.”
A sigh. “You remember the last mission. Hell, you were there with us. Can you blame me?”
“No, and it took out a great agent.”
“Justin was one of the best… I just wish it turned out differently. I wish a lot of things when it comes to that, Jay.”
“We all do, Pearl.”
The dark-haired agent drummed his fingers against the table. On the screen, Nick and Diamond wandered the casino, surrounded by many tone-deaf, wanna-be singers practicing for their auditions. Immediately, Pearl turned the sound on the screen down. There were far more contestants than they had expected. Her eyes focused on the screen as the agents began to interact with the contestants. Any one of them could be the enemy they were looking for.
Jay scanned the screen for suspicious activity. “If nothing else, this will be interesting.”
“They’ll get it done.”
His eyes took in the surroundings of the laboratory as he ran a hand through his dark hair. “They have to.”
***
Diamond scrutinized the thin sheet of paper, pursing her lips. After adjusting the audition bib, she smiled satisfactorily.
“Upside down, it’s still sixty-nine.” Nick laughed with a shrug. “Or sideways, it’s Cancer.”
“Just trying to look the part.” Diamond flipped out her phone casually, then pecked Nick on the cheek and snapped a picture before texting again.
“Do you always give Lancy the play-by-play on your missions?”
“Only ones where cute 00s go back to fieldwork…” Diamond glanced up from her phone, catching Nick’s furtive glance at the ground, before adding, “…Wearing equally cute pink boxers with hearts on them.” She gave Nick’s butt a quick squeeze.
For a moment, she caught the slight flush of his face and the twinkle in his eyes before his small smile became a sly grin. “And what if I wasn’t?”
“That can’t be comfortable in jeans. Guess we’ll have to take them off upstairs.” Diamond ran her hand through her long hair lightly. “After I audition. I’ll probably be out this round, but Lancy gave me the best idea for a song.”
“Just focus on the things you’re good at and have fun. Do a sexy dance or something.” Nick crossed his arms. “What’s the song?”
Diamond winked and placed her finger to her lips. “It’s a secret. Just listen in.” She tapped the bottom of one of her dangling earrings — a hidden removable earpiece. The other earring held the hidden microphone for the feed that connected just the two of them throughout the mission.
Nick pouted as he pulled the mic’d earpiece from one of the pockets on his chest and adjusted it in his ear. “Too bad I won’t get to see your dance.”
“I’ll show you upstairs.” She whispered and walked her fingers up his chest as she leaned in for a kiss.
“Entry number 006969,” a male voice called.
Diamond squealed, then pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Wish me luck, Nick.”
“Good luck.” He pulled her closer by the waist. “Don’t worry too much about sucking.”
“Not what you said last time.” Diamond flashed a large smile at him as she pulled away, then sauntered over to the door being held open by the production assistant. As she walked through the door, she turned back and blew Nick a kiss. Both Nick and the production assistant cocked their heads to the side, though Nick briefly glared at the man holding the door. In response, Diamond flounced through the door, slightly exaggerating the flirtatious shake of her hips as she adjusted the earpiece from her earring.
When Diamond reached the stage, she flashed her smile at the judges. “I’m Desiree DuBaiser, and I’ll be singing ‘Hey Mickey.’ I want to dedicate it to a special guy watching.”
The British judge rolled his eyes and muttered a sarcastic, “Lovely.”
Meanwhile, Nick grumbled through the earpiece, “You definitely owe me that dance later.”
The female judge in the middle of the panel beamed and nodded perkily. “Great song choice! Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart.”
Diamond put her hands on her hips and gave a suggestive little twirl, hoping to hide her nerves at singing in front of others. After a deep inhale, she silently repeated what Nick had told her: Just focus on the things you’re good at and have fun. Do a sexy dance or something. Then, she turned back to face the judges with a large grin and gave a little shimmy. “Oh Nicky, you’re so fine…” Taking Nick’s silence as a sign of his approval, Diamond began concocting an impromptu dance involving a lot of pirouettes, shimmying, and butt shaking as she sang.
“You’re so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky! Hey Nicky!
Oh Nicky, you’re so fine,
You’re so fine you blow my mind
Hey Nicky!”
She began strutting toward the judges with a flirtatious smirk. “Hey Nicky!” When Diamond reached the table, she leaned against it and thrust her hips before climbing on top of it. Putting her hands on the slightly overweight, African American male judge’s shoulders, she continued the impromptu table-top lap dance. “You’ve been around all night and that’s a little long…”
“You think you’ve got the right, but I think you’ve got it wrong.
Why can’t you say ‘goodnight,’ so you can take me home, Nicky?”
She then crawled over to the British judge and repeated her previous display, going so far as to put her hands upon his chest. “’Cause when you say you will, it always means you won’t…”
“You’re givin’ me the chills, baby, please baby don’t
Every night you still leave me all alone, Nicky.”
Diamond performed a spiral roll across the table until she sat in front of the female judge. Placing her hand against her forehead and seeming to let out a sigh, her dance became cute rather than seductive as she held her hands to her heart. “Oh Nicky, what a pity you don’t understand, you take me by the heart…”
The British judge held his palm in front of her face to stop her song.
“Desiree, Desiree, Desiree…” The heavyset black judge shook his head and frowned. “I dunno what’s going on here, but wow… sorry, but that just wasn’t good for me.”
But the perky female judge next to him was all smiles. “I loved your enthusiasm! You put such great energy and spirit into that performance, I think the whole audience fell in love with ‘Nicky.’”
“Remind me to kill Lancy when we get back to HQ.” Nick’s voice groaned from the earpiece.
“…and you’re such a beautiful girl,” the woman continued to gush. “We’re not just looking for a good singer; we’re looking for a performer, and I think you’ve got real star potential. You’re a born entertainer.”
“Okay, Paulette,” the older British judge cut her off in his dry, lolling voice. “Now for some meaningful feedback. Honestly, I thought it was abysmal. You were off-key. It was a poor song choice. Even the dancing couldn’t make up for it. But…” He paused dramatically and arched his brow before finishing. “You’re a pretty girl, and I think you do have a way of captivating your audience, so… I’d like to see what you’d do with a better song. You’re through to the next round.”
***
The rows of monitors in front of them displayed various angles of footage from inside the Global Idol auditions. But so far, they hadn’t picked up anything interesting, and the dark-haired agent was getting bored. His brown eyes started to glaze, while his female companion’s remained sharp. Meanwhile, his butt was growing alarmingly numb; he rose from his swiveling armchair and tried to rub it discreetly.
He heard a snicker next to him and turned to find her laughing at him. “Got an itch down there?”
“No,” he snapped and sat down hard, fuming. She must not have known what it felt like to have your butt fall asleep. She had enough junk in her trunk that it probably never happened to her. She had a built-in cushion. Beneath his muscle, he was all bone.
“When are they going to get in? This is bullshit,” he said, trying to take the attention off his rear end as he gestured to the monitors.
All day, they’d watched audition after bad audition play out in the MGM Grand. It pained him to see the contestants mocked and humiliated by the snarky judges. He knew what it was like to be told you weren’t good enough. It hurt. And they were using it as entertainment. If he’d had his way, his agency would have nothing to do with this obnoxious show. But then again, it was a worldwide phenomenon. Of course a villainous organization would want to infiltrate it; they could reach half the world through this show. And so, here he was, watching the cameras and waiting for something to happen.
Suddenly, the woman next to him drew in a sharp breath. “Lookie here,” she said. “We’re in.”
He looked up and saw a familiar-looking blonde sashaying onto the audition stage. Suddenly alert, his brown eyes grew large and round.
Then… “Look!” A clawed hand grabbed his chin and turned his face toward a different camera. As his companion pointed with one long fingernail, he saw what he was supposed to be looking at: the male figure skulking through the shadows in the back of the audition room, heading for the sound booth.
“It’s started,” he observed, eyes flitting anxiously between the dark figure on one camera and the blonde agent screeching an obnoxious rendition of “Hey Mickey!” on the other. “And it looks like we’ve got company.”
***