Episode 9: Wreckage in a Winter Wonderland
Part 3
“What a line that was! Phew!” Lancy sighed, eyeing his ticket as he made his way through the crowd. “There we are! Perfect seats, aren’t they?” he said to Diamond, who was following him closely.
Diamond threw herself into the seat next to Lancy with a soft puff. “And how much did you pay to get these seats, Lancy?” She looked around her. “Front row, middle, right behind the judges… must have cost you a fortune!”
“More than a Gucci suit, less than a Louis Vuitton luggage set.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. “Worth every single penny, right?”
“Especially when you already have those other two things.” Diamond laughed, then checked their surroundings again. “It’s been two days. We’ve interrogated every single skater, and still, there’s nothing. I’m starting to think Yuna is buried deep in the snow up in the mountains.”
Lancy threw a hurtful look at Diamond. “Don’t say things like that!” he gasped. “That was just mean, Di.” Pouting, he eyed the cardboard signs he had prepared for his favorite ice skaters before continuing bitterly, “Too bad she can’t be here tonight to perform! She really deserved gold the most!”
Feeling bad for him, Diamond threw her arm around Lancy’s shoulders and offered him a tissue.
“Thank you.” Lancy took the tissue, sniffing. “But we’ll find her soon enough, and then she’ll be safe again and compete in the next Olympics, right?” His face lit up. “And when we save her, then she’ll know me and how I’m her biggest fan, and we’ll be best friends forever, and I’ll get free tickets to every competition of hers!” He clapped his pink mitten-covered hands joyfully. “Can’t wait to save her!”
Diamond gave him a supportive smile. “Much better attitude, Lancy. Of course, we’ll save her. Then you can bring your other best bestie to the shows with you. And you’re right, I’m sure she’s still safe and sound somewhere around–”
Right at that moment, the whole arena went pitch black, causing the audience to moan and protest loudly.
“What’s going on?!” Lancy spoke fearfully. “Di?! Where are you?! You know I’m no big fan of darkness! No one can see you! And you can’t see them!”
“I’m right beside you, Lancy.” Diamond placed her hand on his knee, trying to soothe him. “I bet it’s just a technical difficulty. The lights will come back in a minute,” she assured him, trying to convince herself at the same time. It could very well be just a technical difficulty, as she’d said, but her agent instincts knew better than that. She smelled something fishy, though she couldn’t put a finger on what it could be.
Before she could act on her instincts, the arena lightened as an image appeared on the huge LED screens hanging above the skating rink. The spectators frowned in confusion when they found themselves looking at a random shot of the exposed wooden rafters of a rustic ceiling. They could see a dark-haired man’s olive-skinned forehead at the very bottom of the screen but no more of his face below that.
The man cleared his throat. “Olympic spectators of the world–” He paused as his forehead creased. “CLINT!”
The ponderous upper half of a Sumi mascot also appeared on the screen, looking towards the camera and startling the second it noticed that the camera’s position aimed higher than anticipated. “Sorry, boss,” came a muffled voice from inside the costume as it galumphed back behind the camera to adjust it.
“Why you are ruining my big appearance, I have no idea. Why I don’t kill you right away is another question. Remind me later to do just that, will you?” the man spoke unmercifully.
“I recognize that voice…” Narrowing her eyes, Diamond scrutinized the screen as the camera shook. The face sharpened slowly into focus, revealing dark, flashing eyes and large, white teeth set between lips that were drawn back in a sinister smile. “DR. ROUGH!” Diamond yelped, almost jumping out of her seat. “Lancy, tell me if it’s really Dr. Rough or if the Olympics hosts parties with kegs and jungle juice before the events!!”
“OHMYGOD!” Lancy squealed in terror. “Wasn’t he dead?! Didn’t he blow up in that helicopter in Canada?!?”
“It’s Return of the Living Dead revised, featuring Dr. Rough,” Diamond hissed through clenched teeth as the initial shock of seeing HimTak’s nemesis alive slowly wore off.
“Olympic spectators of the world!” Dr. Rough pronounced again. He spread his arms wide, jostling the ferret draped over his shoulder. “I’m sure you are wondering why the figure skating competition has not yet commenced.” He paused for a moment, his left eye twitching slightly. “The Twenty-first Winter Olympic Games, held in this beautiful city of Vancouver–”
Diamond growled in frustration, her eyes fixed on the screen as Dr. Rough rambled about the history of the Winter Olympics. “Why does this ugly, twitchy jerkass have to be behind this?!”
She looked at Lancy, who was too shocked to say anything besides repetitive “Ohmygods.”
“I wonder why he feels obligated to get his huge nose and twitchy eye into every popular cultural event…” Diamond continued, fuming as she quickly texted. “If he’s not dead, couldn’t he just take a vacation or something? Anything? Seriously, I’m getting so fed up with him!” She flipped her phone open and dialed Pearl’s number.
“I’m on it,” was how Pearl answered the phone.
“I knew you’d be keeping an eye on Nick’s first solo mission.” Diamond giggled.
“Dr. Rough is seriously worse than a cat, man.” Pearl’s abrupt subject change did not go unnoticed. “At least they have only nine lives, and you know when it’ll end. Not like this prick. I’ve already been tracking down the Coliseum’s broadcast, the phone lines, the internet, the JumboTron feed and whatnot, pretty much all of their systems, really, just to make sure we weren’t missing anything. So it was our dear old friend Dr. Rough behind the kidnapping — what a surprise.” She scoffed. “I’m seriously sick of him.”
“Same.” Diamond sighed. “Keep me posted!” She hung up and turned her attention back to the screen just in time to catch the rest of Dr. Rough’s speech.
“As many of you must have heard already, the sweet South Korean darling, the beloved Queen of figure skating, dearest Kim Yuna, has been missing for the past couple of days. Kidnapped days before her big break at the Winter Olympics. Isn’t that just heartbreaking?” He pouted, feigning sadness.
“He wouldn’t kill her, would he?” Intermittent sobs covered Lancy’s whisper. Diamond squeezed his hand in response.
Dr. Rough’s lips curved into a devilish smile. “But I have good news to share! Your beloved shining star, the Queen of the ice, is among you right now! As a matter of fact, she’s about to make her grand entrance.” He clapped his hands joyfully. “Light, please!”
A blinding spotlight shone towards the side of the ice rink, revealing the petite South Korean skater standing at the entrance to the ice. Some of the screens changed from Dr. Rough to show a close-up of Kim Yuna. The audience let out a loud gasp as she set her right skate on the ice and stumbled, regaining her balance just enough to stay upright. It became visible to everyone in the Coliseum how hard she was trembling when she raised her shaky hands to her face to dry her tears.
“All hail the Queen!” Lancy gushed, folding his hands on his chest. “But why is she trembling so hard? And why is she crying?”
The spotlight followed Kim Yuna as she started skating slowly around the ice rink; something strapped around her willowy frame made her appear bulkier than she was. As Diamond squinted, trying to tell what she was wearing, Dr. Rough’s face appeared on the LED screen once again.
“As you can all see, she’s in a very good condition. No harm was done whatsoever. Yet…” He let out a loud, evil laugh and leaned in closer towards the camera, his eye still twitching. “You must be wondering what all this hassle was about, why THE GREAT DR. ROUGH kidnapped the dearest Queen Yuna in the first place, and why she’s now on the stage SKATING with a BOMB strapped on her–”
“A bomb?!” Lancy screamed, fanning his face with his hands as people around him jumped up from their seats in panic and rushed towards the nearest exit. “A BOMB?! OHMYGOD, NOOO!”
“Don’t faint, Lancy, please! I need you here!” Diamond knew what the bulk was now: a belt of dynamite encircled the skater’s narrow torso.
Dr. Rough’s voice rose higher to stifle the deafening screams. “Please make way for the shining star, the Queen of the ice, skating for one night only in front of the lucky crowd at the 2010 Winter Olympic Games!” he continued ecstatically as people’s screams grew louder. “Don’t forget, if she falls, she’ll burst into millions of pieces! Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to have a part of her as a souvenir! What an honor!” He let out another sinister chuckle, his eyes widening with manic delight. “Enjoy the show, Vancouver! It’s sure to have an explosive ending!” His chuckle became a maniacal cackle.
As the screens went black and people piled in front of the exits, desperate to leave the arena before the bomb went off, the familiar theme of cinema’s most iconic secret agent began playing through the speakers.
“You didn’t tell me this was her music…” Diamond smirked as she took out her phone to dial Pearl’s number again. “Nick would have a field day with this.” She shook her head and pulled Lancy in the opposite direction of the exits as the phone continued ringing.
“I got a lead!” Pearl answered the call. “Hang on, Nick’s already on the other line; I’m connecting him.”
“That fucking twitchy prick!”
“Hi to you too, Nick,” Diamond replied as she climbed down the stairs, Lancy following closely behind her.
“I’m gonna rip off that greasy-haired head of his and dribble it like a basketball!” Nick growled.
“Hard to do at the Winter Olympics, hun.”
“Why does he have to be behind everything? I mean, can’t he just take a break and leave the stage to other evil super villains? Just for a change?!”
“My point exactly.” Diamond came to a halt as she reached the side of the ice rink.
“Alright, you two, enough with the chitchat already! Somebody’s still trying to work here!” Pearl interrupted.
“I’ll chitchat if I want! You’re not the one who has to deal with a pack of explosives rigged to an ice skater and a hyperventilating Lancy on her tail! I still can’t decide which one is more life-threatening!”
“Yo Styx, wanna hear a catfight?” Nick chuckled.
“CARTER!” Pearl and Diamond hissed at the same time.
“At your service, ladies.”
“Ah, a perfect triple lutz, triple toe-loop combo!” Lancy piped up behind Diamond. “Impeccable form, even in a life and death situation! She’s a legend!”
Diamond turned her attention to the rink, watching a drained Kim Yuna still skating her routine. “Pearl, are you any closer to finding Dr. Rough’s location? We’re running out of time here — Oh MY GOD!” she squealed when Yuna barely caught her balance after landing another triple jump.
“Ha!” Pearl laughed on the other line. “This fake doctor thinks he’s rough and tough, but he’s still a pathetic amateur — though, I have to admit, he’s pretty good with technology.”
“Which means?” Nick asked impatiently.
“Which means he was smart enough to make it impossible to track him down through the broadcast but amateur enough to forget his coffee cup in the background,” Pearl continued. “Duh, like he could be THAT good.”
“Coffee cup?” Diamond questioned, still keeping an eye on Kim Yuna.
“I managed to get a screenshot of him while he was talking, just in case. I noticed a coffee cup with some kind of a logo on it in the background, managed to zoom and clarify the image, and, voila, a huge lead on where you can find him. Nick, I’m sending the picture to your phone. It’s the logo of the lodge he’s possibly staying at.”
“Alright, hold on a second.” Nick paused for a moment. “Cypress Mountain?”
“Exactly. It’s in West Vancouver. I’m forwarding you a map of the building, as well as the shortest way to reach it before it’s too late. There’s no parking at the venue, so you’ll have to hike a ways. I’d opt for the woods if I were you. Easier to stay out of sight — knowing Rough, he’ll have the area under surveillance.”
“Alright, we’re on our way,” Nick said swiftly. “Oh, and Pearl? You’re a genius.”
“Tell me something I don’t know, Carter,” Pearl replied smugly.
“Meanwhile, there’s a bomb that will blow a beloved figure skater into bits and give a beloved secretary a heart attack.” Diamond said impatiently. “Any good news for here inside the Coliseum?”
Pearl let out a chuckle before getting serious again. “Actually, Di, I don’t think I have good news for you. To say it the simplest, if Kim falls down, the bomb explodes. No brainer. You HAVE to make sure she doesn’t make any sudden moves or shake the bomb too hard–”
“Do you realize that we’re talking about a figure skater here?” Diamond raised her voice. “A figure skater who’s jumping up and down like a bunny half the time she’s on the ice!”
“It’s easy, just make sure she doesn’t fall down AT ALL COSTS.”
“So simple,” Diamond said sarcastically before snapping her phone shut. “At least Lancy says she’s a legend.”
“Another salchow!” Lancy’s yelp distracted Diamond’s attention from watching Kim Yuna carefully.
“Lancy,” Diamond murmured, touching Lancy’s arm deliberately to make sure he was listening to her. When she made eye contact with him, she spoke slowly. “If she goes down, the bomb will explode. We have to get her off the rink before she even comes close to falling… Lancy?” Diamond shook Lancy’s arm harshly when she noticed his attention drifting back to Kim Yuna.
“She won’t be able to make the next jump,” Lancy whispered. Diamond followed his gaze to the skater, who was accelerating backward. “She’ll try the triple axel! It’s the hardest jump!”
Before Diamond could open her mouth to protest, Lancy rescued his arm from her grip and threw himself onto the skating rink.
“Lancy!”
The next few seconds went in slow motion for Diamond: Yuna jumped into the air as Lancy slid clumsily across the ice, trying to estimate the exact position in which to place himself to catch her on time.
“Gotcha!” Lancy shrieked happily as he caught Yuna by her waist in mid-air.
“Thank… thank you!” a breathless Yuna stuttered. “I would not have landed properly if you had not caught me…”
“Oh, doll, no worries,” Lancy replied sheepishly as he lowered the petite skater gently to the ice. “You’d have gotten top marks for that jump if you were competing, believe me.”
Yuna blushed and smiled shyly. “You saved my life, sir. Thank you. “
“Shh, don’t even mention it. Let’s get you somewhere safe and warm, darling, and take off that hideous belt. You definitely deserve some hot cocoa. Did I tell you gold looks fabulous on you? Totally brings out your eyes,” Lancy babbled, leading her toward the kiss and cry area at one side of the rink. “By the way, I’m Lancy, your biggest fan! Mind signing my t-shirt?”
***